Assorted members of the Gang headed out to the Happy Valley this weekend for Kevtronic's bachelor party. The bp plan was to do a day long UMass nostalgia piss-up on Saturday. I hadn't been out there in a while so I decided to bus down to Northampton on Friday night to hang out with long time friend KAS. Fortunately, the AC on the Peter Pan bus was broken, so ... no wait - that's unfortunately. very. It probably approached 120 degrees inside the packed coach of about 75 people for the two hour ride. The windows were covered with condensation. Every five minutes or so someone would say something to the effect of "oh, this is ridiculous" or "it is so fucking hot in here I can't breathe". Thankfully, they have cold beer in Northampton, so everything worked out alright.
I was still a tad drunk on Saturday morning when J & J picked me up on their way into Amherst for the 10 AM tailgating party. Some beer and coffee kicked me into high gear for the UMass ass-kicking of Towson State. Which state is Towson? I don't know but they were in a state of disgrace by the time we got done with them. Go! Go U! Go U Mass! Go UMass! So anyways, blah blah blah we drank a lot and all of a sudden it was about 11 PM and we were hanging at one of the college bars in "downtown" Amherst. I don't know exactly how the conversation got here, but at some point our buddy was telling a story about the time he met Steve Martin:
"I was in Vegas at Ceasar's Palace and I was browsing in the magic shop, when I noticed Steve Martin was there too. I've always been a big Steve Martin fan. So then I'm thinking, here we are, just two regular guys hanging out in a magic shop --"
-- I stopped the story and asked him to repeat that last line. And that basically covers the rest of the night/weekend's conversation - variations on that line and unreasonable laughter.
Apparently, the story checks out. According to stevemartin.com, "after his family moved to Southern California from Waco, Texas, when he was 10, he just happened to move near Disneyland, where he started out in high school demonstrating magic tricks in the gift shop." Steve Martin, magician/regular guy.
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17 comments:
seriously, tell me more...
I don't know how much time you spent on the UMass campus, but I can tell you that we stayed at the Campus Hotel in the Campus Center, which was a bit of a trip. I'd never been up there before. We cocktailed in the hotel before catching the free bus (yes!) in town to the Amherst Brewing Company, where we had beers and dinner. Then we hit "the strip". Barsie's is closed. Time Out is still there but now it's called McMurtry's or something. We rocked about 10 pitchers there and then moved down to Delano's which looked like a bomb hit it. No one there at midnight on a Friday night when school's in session. Just the 3 pitchers there. Then we went to the Spoke which is really the only bar I ever spent any time at in Amherst. The crowd has changed a bit. Or maybe not. Maybe we're just a decade older. Closed that down, drank at the hotel, wandered around the Campus Hotel with the munchies until we settled on the vending machines.
that was pretty much it. that and about 7 thousand "just 2 regular guys in a magic shop" jokes.
oh. wish i was there. i would've eaten my weight in sweet potato fries at ABC and made everyone go upstairs to watch me play darts/commit murder with tiny pointed things. the bars in amherst suck. you guys shoulda gone to noho. or at least the moan and dove. i'll forgive you, though, as i too have down many a pitcher on main street.
I agree but it wasn't my bachelor party. I prefer the Noho bars, but the bachelor was a former Amherst resident so we were going to his old spots. The Spoke was a good time. We showed those young whippersnappers how to play pool.
Yay, the Spoke!!!!!
My old stomping grounds!
woot
*sigh* UMass... There were a few times when I stopped in at the TOC (is it still called Top of the Campus?) to have a midday cocktail. One of the perks of starting undergrad at age 21. And you saw KAS?! It's been years since I've seen her. You know KB had a not-so-secret crush on her for that 8 months she was a lesbian. Ah, college in the Valley. I do miss it.
Who's KAS? I had a crush on her?
2 Questions:
Is she hot?
Does she already like me?
I'll settle for a "yes" to one of the two questions.
The Spoke seemed like it had a higher meathead population than when we were there. Less stoners sitting and staring straight ahead.
We did not have time to explore the Campus Center bar scene (TOC, Hatch, Grad Student Lounge). TOC was a good spot. I remember having the occasional drink there after All Staff meetings. I think other readers of this blog may have had the occasional drink there during All Staff meetings.
KAS is a VTK reader but she doesn't comment. I'll be presumptuous and let you know that she's doing well and it was great to see her. I figured KB had a crush on her since she always referred her to as the Cha Cha Cha Hottie. Incidentally, Cha is now Bueno y Sano and ByS is now affiliated with the Veracruzanas I think, pretty much creating a latin food monopoly in the Valley.
kb:
1. yes
2. not that I know of
cha cha cha ruled. veracruzana and bueno blow.
know what i miss? india house. so fucking good. there's nothing of the sort here.
I don't remember the India House. We used to eat on the roof deck of the Brewery a lot.
I need to see some jokes to see how "two regular guys hanging out in a magic shop" compares to "really? 'cause I've got a hooker in the bathroom" for best all time bachelor party lines. That one changed my life and I tell it regularly. When asked to read at weddings mostly.
icksne on the ooker in the bathroomhe. that was supposed to stay in vegas. I was in violation of guy code edict 194.3A.7 by telling you that story.
I was actually thinking it was the funniest line I've heard since you pretended to be my stepgrandmother in front of my stepmother and said "blow job? we always just called it sex in the face". I use that line all the time.
all the time.
but seriously, just say that line over and over and over. you'll see it's inner hilarity. it was like the platonic form of unintentionally funny lines.
will do. Also, I'm pretty sure our last two posts are creepy enough to keep you in the running for "blove." of course, I always bury these suckers so who knows if you'll get all the credit you deserve.
One of the judges is in on this comment thread so she may stop back. though I think she's still coping with what happened in my most recent post. and the word I just made up: creepy = sexy = creexy.
better than seepy.
oh, yikes! yes. much better than seepy.
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