Thursday, September 27, 2007

Blove - Round 6

Seems like we fast forwarded a bit on this reality blog show, doesn't it? Round 6 already? Regardless, the important point is that I'm still in the game. Here are the latest results. As you can see, I survived, but didn't garner any special mention. I may have to start coming at this thing from a different angle...

I'll come up with something. Anyways, all this blog reality stuff got me to thinking about my all-time top ten reality show list. Here goes:

10. Sorority House - straight up voyeurism on catty 21 year old hotties.
9. The Littlest Groom - politically incorrect? maybe. hilarious? definitely. Especially when they introduced the curveball of the "regular" sized chicks to try to entice the littlest groom away from the little prospective brides.
8. The Apprentice – seasons 1 and 2 - The first two seasons of this show actually knocked the mighty Survivor off its previously unassailable perch. Unabashed capitalism at its finest.
7. Joe Millionaire – season 1 only - I loved the scam on all the money grubbing harlets. Also, I saw Joe Millionaire in Boston the week after the finale aired and he looked all urban outfitter and cracked out at 8 AM on a weekday. He shot me a look like "yeah, it's me. now fuck off." What a clown.
6. Flavor of Love – both seasons - Too much great stuff to write in a couple of sentences. One of the greatest moments in reality tv came in season one, where Pumkin spit in New York's face. fantastic. One of the most confusing and shocking moments came in season two, when a contestant actually shit herself and the floor during an elimination ceremony. That's beyond reality.
5. The Real World MTV – first 4 seasons - The original. Got America hooked on televised voyeurism.
4. The Contender – season 1 only - ranked too high? Maybe. But there's something to be said for the fact that at the end of this particular reality show, two contestants beat the crap out of eachother and literally put their careers on the line (the bouts went on their professional records). That's hardcore. And if that's not hardcore enough for you, one of the boxers killed himself after losing and blowing his chance to get his family out of the hood. That would be reality right there. Also, Sly Stallone and Sugar Ray Leonard took unintentional comedy to an entirely new level. Sly wasn't in the sequels and they changed the format, which made it much less entertaining.
3. Survivor – the first 6 or 7 seasons - Survivor really launched reality tv as we know it. It was a revelation in strategic entertainment with interesting twists, locations, bathing suits and cinematography. It took a long time for this show to get old.
2. Beauty and the Geek – season 1 - Must be pretty good to trump the mighty Survivor, eh? Pretty good? check. Beauty and the Geek was non-stop parody and hilarity. On the heels of scores of dating competition shows, BatG convinced a collection of hotties that they were going to be on a show of this type and convinced a collection of socially awkward dorky guys that they would be on some other type of show. When they brought them together, it was pure magic. The girls were dumb. The guys were nerdy. Nearly every person in America could laugh at one or the other. But in the end, they all figured out, and we too figured out, that each one of us is a beauty, and a geek, and an athlete, and a basketcase, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, Ashton Kutcher.
1. Man vs Beast - as previously documented. "The giraffe does not seem to realize that it's in a race!"

postscript: Many quality shows didn't make the cut. I hear Top Chef is great, but I've never watched it, so I can't include it in my personal list. Amazing Race is also highly acclaimed, but I've always thought it was incredibly lame that Americans are frantically running around the world yelling at people in their home countries. It's like exploiting people for our own amusement or something. Big Brother and Road Rules pretty much sucked. What else is there -- Holy Shit, there have been a lot of reality tv shows. Feel free to peruse and make your own lists.


blythe said...

brilliant. were you drinking cisco when you made this? also, if cisco were to appear on my porch via the post, you would win, hands down. just putting that out there.

Dan said...

stone cold sober. cisco puts me over the top, eh? might have to take a little trippy down to the packie...

Dearest Cupcake said...

Clearly you never saw "Amish in the City," otherwise it would be your #1.

Dan said...

I have not seen it. good, I take it?

Anonymous said...

umm... Kid Nation??

Dan said...

also, haven't seen. I'm still too broken up about the cancellation of Jericho to watch anything that airs in its spot.