Group C Scenarios

Here's the ESPN breakdown of the scenarios in which the US can advance in the World Cup:

USA advances with:
(a) Win versus Algeria on Wednesday
(b) Tie and Slovenia-England tie IF England does not outscore USA by 2+ goals
(c) Tie and England loss

Slovenia advances with:
(a) Win or tie versus England
(b) Loss AND USA tie vs Algeria
(c) Loss and Algeria win as long as Algeria doesn't make up tiebreakers*

England advances with:
(a) Win versus Slovenia
(b) Tie AND USA-Algeria tie AND outscore USA by 3 goals

Algeria advances with:
(a) Win versus USA AND Slovenia win/tie versus England
(b) Win versus USA AND Slovenia loss versus England AND makes up tiebreakers on Slovenia

Note: If the U.S. draws with Algeria and England draws with Slovenia, and England scores exactly two more goals than the U.S., the U.S. and England would be even on all tiebreakers for second place. The tie would be broken by drawing lots ... aka, a coin flip.

* Tiebreaker order: (1) Goal differential in all group matches (Algeria is -1, Slovenia is +1); (2) greatest number of goals scored (Slovenia has 3 goals, Algeria none); (3) greatest number of points obtained in group matches between the teams concerned; (4) goal differential resulting from group matches between the teams concerned; (5) greater number of goals scored in all group matches between the teams concerned.

(Only way both USA and England advance is if both win.)

If USA finishes atop the group, they will face the 2nd place team from group D. If they finish 2nd, they will face the 1st place team from group D. Two of Germany, Ghana, and Serbia will likely advance, but the order is up in the air.

Deano's Double

Ten minutes into the Premier League season, Dean Ashton had made his presence felt - twice. West Ham United's 24 year old striker pumped up the bubble-blowing faithful at Upton Park 3 minutes into the season by scoring the Hammers' first goal, and then sent them into a frenzy 7 minutes later by scoring their second. What a start. I can only imagine what it must have felt like in the stadium when the lofty optimism he'd launched was abruptly grounded by the sight of him limping off the field in the second half. With Ljundberg having been released (probably because of age and recurring injuries) and Bellamy and Dyer sidelined with injuries, much of East London's hopes rest on the performance of Deano and Julien Faubert. Both have been injured for the majority of their brief tenures at West Ham, so to see Ashton limp out of a season opener that was still 2-1 at the time must have been pretty brutal. (On a personal level, the exit cost him a chance to get another cap with the England national team.) Fortunately, an MRI scan has confirmed that it was just a cramp and not something more serious. He'll be back in action Sunday at Manchester City. If there's any hope for the Hammer's season, we'll need Deano to stay on his feet.



Here's a look at the healthy Deano in action:



I don't have much for you in terms of a West Ham season preview. In addition to the aforementioned names, the roster will include most of the same names from last year, Zamora and Pantsil excluded, a few rookies and a couple international signings included. Look for solid play from youngsters Kyel Reid, Fred Sears, and James Tomkins and from Swiss defender Behrami, freshly signed from Lazio. Management is intent on cutting payroll so there may be a couple transfers out and probably won't be much coming in, intriguing Saha rumors notwithstanding. My hope is that a healthy Hammers squad will challenge to remain in the top half of the table.

Nor do I have much of an EPL season preview. (Can you throw down a "nor" clause to start a paragraph, referencing the first sentence of the previous paragraph? Doubtful.) I expect the Big Four to finish 1-2-3-4, probably Man U, Chelsea, Liverpool, Arsenal. Sorry Fuge, but the other 3 made themselves better, while the Gunners gave up my boy Hleb, Flamini, and Gilberto, and haven't replaced them with equal talent (to my knowledge).

Soccertime

The day after a tremendous Champions League Final seems like a good day to do a soccer post, reviewing the match, reviewing the State of the Hammers, and previewing the upcoming Euro 08 Championships.

The Champions League Final

It didn’t really seem like a Champions League Final at first, with two familiar English Premier League rivals facing eachother (as they have so many times over the last two years), rather than two mega-teams from two different mega-leagues. Nevertheless, there was little doubt in my mind that these were the two best teams in Europe and deserving of this one game shot at the Cup. And they didn’t disappoint. I’m no Chelsea fan by any stretch, but my well documented hatred of Manchester United and Cristiano Ronaldo (and a beer bet with my dad) set me to rooting for the Blues. The match started off as a grind-it-out English match on a wet pitch, with Man U looking the slightly stronger team over the first 25 minutes. Then they cracked it open with some nice one-two touch passing from Scholes and Wes Brown, who then crossed beautifully to the lethal Red Devil Ronaldo whose big head perfectly redirected the ball into the back of the net. The better team had taken the lead. It looked as if 1-0 would be the score going into the 2nd half, but Chelsea’s Frank Lampard poked one in just before halftime to reset the drama. Chelsea stepped up their game in the second half but both teams were stymied by the keepers and their best friends, the goalposts, which left us at 1-1 at the end of regulation time. Both teams started the first extra period explosively, but no goals bulged the old onion bag, as Tommy Smythe would say. The second period brought more exciting play and a confusing shoving match, which Didier Drogba idiotically took as an invitation to swipe a bitch slap at Vidic. A soccer finger wag and a red card for you DD. Man U was unable to capitalize on their man advantage in the last 3 minutes and the game went to penalty kicks to decide the champion. It’s cliché to say and no, I don’t have a better suggestion on how to end final matches, but it sucks to have it decided by PKs. At least that’s what I thought until the 5th PK taken, which was missed by a certain arrogant punk. Now let the record show that I am officially admitting that Ronaldo is the greatest player in the world right now, so he’s getting his due. But good god almighty do I love it when he fucks up. And once Chelsea put in their 3rd and 4th PKs, it looked as if he was going to go down in history as an epic goat, losing Man U a deserved double on his cocky little hitch move penalty kick. At that point, you could not have convinced me that ending a match in this fashion was a bad idea. But, not to be outdone, John Terry slipped and missed Chelsea’s 5th PK and they went to sudden death PKs, which Man U eventually won on a fine Van Der Saar save. So, I’m right back to thinking that it sucks. But they are the best team in the world in my estimation so it’s fair enough I guess. Plus I’m happy my boy Carlos Tevez got to hoist the Cup. Not his best game, though not for lack of effort, but you know what, Ronaldo? He made his PK.


West Ham United Football Club

As some of you might remember, it was Tevez who led me to the Hammers, only to quickly leave for the big stage that he found in yesterday’s Final, leaving me with an affection for a team from East London that I really didn’t know anything about. Fair play to everyone's favorite scalded Argentian bat, though. It was enough that he saved West Ham from relegation so that I could follow them this year in the best league in the world (giving me an organically selected favorite team, free of any bandwagon accusations). This year was definitely the closest I’ve followed the Premier League in my life, as close as one can follow it without having Fox Soccer Channel in their home anyway. Despite this handicap, I was able to watch a handful of West Ham games and follow them online. The pre-season made me very optimistic about their prospects after their acquisitions of Parker, Faubert, Bellamy, Ljungberg, and Dyer. Unfortunately all of them were injured for large stretches of the season, so the Irons never had their full first roster on the field at the same time. Still, they managed to play an impressive first 2/3 of the season, highlighted by a win over the aforementioned Red Devils, which put them in the top half of the table. Everything was coming up aces for me. I had legitimately chosen a favorite Premier League team with a cool nickname (the Hammers) and a cool secondary nickname (the Irons) to follow, just as they were beginning their rise to prominence. No bandwagon here. I wore my recently acquired WHUFC scarf, hat, and polo shirt proudly. They were even well ahead of city rivals, the hated Hotspurs of Tottenham (they're who I'm supposed to hate, right? Or was it Arsenal? Or Chelsea? Not Fulham, surely. I can't be dissing Team America). Shortly thereafter, the wheels came off the Iron Bus (or sedan, as it were). Back to back to back 4-0 losses destroyed their goal differential and put to rest any dreams of qualifying for UEFA Cup. A couple more unexpected losses to relegation candidates and all of a sudden, the Hammers were in danger of slipping back into the bottom half of the table, and being replaced by the hated Hotspurs (yes, hated). But England international striker Dean Ashton scored late in their last match to earn a draw against the Villains (very cool nickname) of Aston Villa and secure their 10th place top half of the table finish. Not too shabby. The owner has made it clear that he expects them to cut payroll, so they may lose a player or two to transfers, but if the rest of them come back healthy, this should be a formidable team next year, with youngsters Freddie Sears and James Tomkins contributing. Up the Irons!


European Championships 2008

Arguably the second best soccer tournament in the game, the Euros bring all the great play of the World Cup, without the mediocre teams like Saudi Arabia and Trinidad & Tobago. Even the crappy teams are good and have a chance (see Euro 04 when Greece pulled one of the biggest upsets in my memory by winning the whole thing over the perennial superpowers). This year should be even more enjoyable to watch as we'll be spared all the unbearably biased pro-England coverage. I don't care if they have the best league in the world right now (not always the case) and they speak the same language as us; those aren't reasons for them to be the default national team of the American sports fan. Maybe that's the Irish in me popping off, but ha-ha, England. Have a nice vacation. Right. Got that out of the way. So, the action gets underway at noon on Saturday, June 7th with co-host Switzerland taking on Czech Republic, followed by the likely more exciting match-up of Portugal vs. Turkey. (please note that I am not taking any shots at Portugal here and am going into the tournament with an open mind just like I did last World Cup.) See the full Euro 08 schedule here. And here are the groups. Take special note of the group of Death, group C. All 4 teams are ranked in the FIFA World Rankings top 12 teams. Romania, the worst team in the group, is ranked the 12th best team in the world. Wow. The Group C games are on June 9, 13, and 17 and then the runner up in that group will likely face #4 in the world (#2 in Europe) Spain in the quarterfinals on Sunday, June 22. You'd have to think that if a team can make it out of that group and then beat Spain, they'd be looking like a strong contender to win it all. My predictions are as follows:

1A - Portugal
2A - Czech Repub
1B - Germany
2B - Poland (upset. world meet Artur Boruc)
1C - France
2C - Italy
1D - Spain
2D - Sweden (upset. world meet Zlatan Ibrahimovic)

Quarters - Portugal beats Poland, Germany beats Czech Republic (Joba Chamberlain gives his OK), Italy beats Spain, France beats Sweden.

Semis - I'm not sure who's facing who, but I see Portugal and France advancing (or Portugal and Italy if Portugal faces France)

Youro Champo - I guess I gave it away. It's Portugal. Congratulations dewy24, CJ, N-Lo, Somerville, and Westport. You've finally dove it! Er, that's "done it". Sorry about that. The tournament hasn't even started and I'm taking shots already.

WHU - WTF

What the fuck is going on, West Ham United Football Club? 3 consecutive 4-0 losses? After ending the year with a huge victory over Manchester United, the Hammers powered through a tough January with victories over Liverpool and Fulham and a pair of draws against Manchester City. They were square in the middle of the table in 10th place, a game in hand, 3 points out of 7th place, with a strong goal differential of + 8. Then:

Chelsea 4 - West Ham 0
Liverpool 4 - West Ham 0
Tottenham 4 - West Ham 0

A 12 point goal differential swing in 3 matches? I mean, I know those are good teams who were favored to beat them, but jesus. The not scoring thing is nothing new, but they usually have a pretty stellar defense. The good news is that they still have a 5 point lead over Spurs in 10th place. They'd have to end the season with an unbelievable run to finish much higher, but hopefully they can hang on to that midtable spot. European qualification is right out. In their final 9 matches, they face Man U, Villa, Everton, Portsmouth, and Blackburn. They pretty much need to win all the other matches against Derby, Bolton, Sunderland, and Newcastle. But all three will be fighting to avoid relegation so that could be tough as well.

It'll be interesting to see what they do in terms of transfers in the offseason. You'd think that if Bellamy, Dyer, Parker, and Faubert all came back healthy, that would considerably strengthen their midfield and attack. Maybe throw some money on the back four.

Obama the Hamma!

I was plugging away at the graphic novel this afternoon, keeping a hopeful eye on the West Ham v Liverpool score, and listening to me daily dose of British squawking, the World Soccer Daily podcast. I was geared up thanks to me mum's XMas gifts - a West Ham United FC centre half around me Gregory Peck and a WHUFC tit for tat on me loaf of bread. Any more kit and I'da been forever blowing bubbles with the bloody Irons themselves! Well, you can imagine me french fries when I hear your man say that Democratic Presidential candidate and VTK endorsee Barack Obama is a legitimate West Ham United fan! Apparently he's been following them for 5 years since his sister married an English Hammers fan and he's a huge fan. You know he's not lying, because who would pick West Ham? I mean, besides me. I knew I liked this guy. Then, the icing on top of the icing of the cake, the Hammers convert a penalty kick at the end of injury time to snatch a 1-0 victory over the reeling Reds of Liverpool. You may be walking alone sooner than you think, Benitez! What a great day for West Ham United / Obama supporters. Here's hoping this massive victory is a portent of things to come on Supa Tuesday. Up the Irons! Up the Obamas!



Oh, and who do you think the Clintons support. Natch. The Red Devils of Manchester United. Obvi. And who pulled big upsets in their last three matches against Man U? Obama's West Ham United, thank you very much.

(cockney rhyming slang from here)
(pictures and story from here)

Forever Blowing Bubbles

I had a chance to visit old Compound resident Paul G, aka The Handsome Plumber, at his new residence yesterday to watch a couple games featuring our favorite football teams: my non-American football team, West Ham United, and then his American football team, the New England Patriots, aka the best offensive passing attack in the history of the game. West Ham played host to the dreaded Black Cats of Sunderland, coached by Irish legend, Roy Keane. Well, not dreaded really, but an at times dangerous team that could prevent us from picking up the 3 points we needed to stop our 3 game losing streak and put us back up in the top half of the table. The Hammers controlled possession in the first half, but only managed to bulge the old onion bag (to borrow a phrase from Tommy Smyth) once, on a nice acrobatic twisting header from Carlton Cole. This failure to dominate led to major change in momentum early in the second half, when Sunderland equalized and then was robbed of its own lead by a great diving parry by Hammers' keeper (and possibly England's new keeper) Robert Green. Fortunately they were able to survive the Sunderland surge and a lucky own goal by the opposing keeper put West Ham back in the lead at 2-1, where the score would stay until Craig Bellamy punctuated his return from injury with a fine side footed tap in to the near post in extra time. Not a spectacular goal, but good strikers know where to be and how to capitalize on their chances, and this was a perfect example of that. Unfortunately, youtube seems to pull down any footage of English Premier League action due to copyright infringement, so I can't show you the goals. But, I did find this quality footage of a fan singing West Ham's anthem:




Right on, Ashleigh! I love you.

As for the Pats game, they are who we thought they were! I was more than a little tempted by the 16.5 point spread to take the Dolphins at home, but then I came to my senses and remembered that the Pats are incredible and the Fins are horrendous. This was confirmed and rewarded in the first half when Tom Brady absolutely dismantled Miami's defense with 5 TD passes. One of them in particular, at about the 2:20 mark of the video below, was unbelievable. It really seemed like Randy Moss pulled in this 55 yard bomb in double coverage in the end zone with his elbow. I'm not even sure he used his hand to catch it. Wow. 42-7 at the half. Despite this total domination, the Dolphins somehow had a chance to cover the spread on the last possession. But they suck. So they didn't. After the Steeler's choke job last night against Denver, it seems clear that the only team that is even remotely in the Patriots' league is Indy. And I'll change my mind on that if they lose in Jacksonville tonight (a possibility).



In non-football sports news, I've been hearing rumors that the baseball season is not over yet. If that is in fact the case, I suppose good luck to VTK sports fan readers with their respective teams. I'd also like to welcome the 10 new readers a day, every day, I get from people googling "Jacoby Ellsbury's girlfriend". And it's almost certainly unnecessary, but I'd like to reiterate to Jacoby anyways: DUDE! Get out there. You can have your pick.

UPDATE: 25 hits from inquiries into Jacoby's status so far today (and one hit from an inquiry into his johnson).

Yankees.9.7

They say that Jacoby Ellsbury's the fastest guy in baseball. I say it's Clemens.



Back in May and June when the Bombers were really shitting the bed, I was just hoping that they could start winning some games to make August and September interesting to follow; I wanted them to at least be in a race (division or wild card). They've certainly done that in the second half of the season making it a very interesting summer of baseball. Despite winning 5 of the last 6 against the Red Sox and being only 4 back in the loss column, it appears that it would take a total Sox collapse combined with a 10 and 3 or better finish by the Yanks in order to take the division. Could happen; not likely. On the bright side, they are 3 up in the loss column against Detroit, so if they hold serve (to mix sports metaphors) they should win the wild card race and make the playoffs. Right now, Cleveland and LA are tied for the second best record, which would pit them against the wild card winner. God, please let it be Cleveland. LA just has our number.

Assorted hits: That at-bat by Derek Jeter against Schilling last night was about as good as it gets. Classic good (Jeter) versus evil (fat boy) match up in a key spot in the game: tied in the 8th, 2 on, 2 out. I particularly enjoyed the camera shots on Jeter's face when Varitek went out to the mound multiple times to strategize with Schilling. That little smirk was classic. I also enjoyed the home run. ... Too bad Joba had to give up his first earned run in Fenway, but I liked his reaction: eh. So what. This guy is a gamer. I can't wait to see him starting and using a regular rotation of all his pitches. Those two K's he got on nasty little curve balls following his high 90's heat were great. I think Pedroia may have started walking away from the plate before the ump even called it. My other favorite Joba moment of the weekend was when he reached into the crowd from the bullpen to snag a home run away from the Sox fans. This guy was born for this rivalry. ... Speaking of pitching though, I have absolutely no idea what to expect from our starting staff if we make the playoffs and that's what really concerns me about this team. Clemens looked great last night but how many cortizone shots can one guy get in one month. And everyone else has been inconsistent. I'm very excited about the future of the Baby Bombers pitching staff, but you just don't know how Hughes and Kennedy will fare in October. I'm excited to find out though. Especially after the way this season started.


___________________

Hammers.17.09.07

The Hammers' short 5 game season has been a bit of a microcosm of the Yankees' season: horrible start (2 nil home loss to a then mediocre sounding Manchester City side), loads of injuries (Faubert, Ljundberg, Parker, Dyer), then a strong resurgence recently (2 straight 3-0 wins, giving them 6 points and 6 plus on goal differential). They're sitting 5th in the Premier League with a game in hand. Of course, they haven't played any of the Big Four yet, nor have they played any of the preseason projected next four (Portsmouth, Everton, Tottenham, Blackburn), so we really know nothing about the team. But these are the games they're supposed to be getting points from, and they are, so that's good. Next weekend's game against Newcastle should be informative about how good West Ham are. Then Arsenal after that. That match should tell us if they're total frauds or not. I'm not thinking top 4 finish, but a UEFA Cup qualification would be awesome.

Ta Ta Tevez

It looks like the Tevez West Ham saga is finally over with an out of court settlement in which The Irons will release his registration to Manchester United and will receive 2 million pounds in compensation. For much of the last couple months I was clinging to the ridiculous hope that the Tevezmanian Devil would remain at Upton Park, but there was of course no real chance of that happening. A player of his caliber will always end up on one of a very few select European teams. Which is fine. That's just the way it is. But did it have to be Man Fucking U? I can't stomach the thought of him receiving service from the detestable Cristiano Ronaldo in a Red Devil Red jersey. Barf. Anyways, Tevez was the reason I became a West Ham fan and now that he's gone I can either continue my loyal-to-a-fault ways and remain a Hammers fan in his absence, or follow him to his new team. Obviously, that new team is Man U, so there's no chance in Red Devil Hell that I'm going with the latter option. The former option it is. It's as good a team as any to follow in the Premiership. I wasn't interested in bandwagoning on with one of the Big Four and I don't have any connection to any of the second tier teams (the Tottenhams, Evertons, Newcastle, Blackburns, etc). The Hammers have a pretty decent history, are located smack dab in the fiddle of Cockney land (giving me an opportunity to break out the Cockney Rhyming Slang on occasion), and have very cool uniforms. They also appear to be a team that will occasionally have to battle to avoid relegation out of the league, which can be exciting to follow (see last year), and occasionally contend for UEFA Cup competition if not Champions League competition (though you never know). And there's always the FA Cup, which seems to be a bit like March Madness. And they have new ownership in the form of an Icelandic dude named Eggbert, Egglestein, Eggromavich or something who appears to be more than happy to spend money on fairly high caliber players. In this transfer window, they've picked up Scott Parker and Kieran Dyer from Newcastle, Craig Bellamy from Liverpool, Freddie Ljundberg from Arsenal, French national team member Julian Faubert, and change. Not going to cancel out the loss of Tevez (and Yossi Benayoun (fuck Mediocre Reo Coker)) but not bad. And they have an American starting in the backfield (Jonathon Spector). And they're in London, so I might get to catch a game next time I visit there (last time was 13 years ago). So the Hammers, the Irons, West Ham United it is.




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And while I'm bidding farewell to one of my favorite players from my favorite team in a VTK sports post, allow me to say arrivadercci to Big Al Jefferson as he was traded this week from the Celtics to the Timberwolves for some other guy, I forget who. I'm lukewarm on the trade because the other guy is supposed to be pretty good and the Celtics should have a good chance of getting to the Finals in the next couple years. But I'm going to miss cheering for Big Al on a regular basis. You always root for your own more than those who you pick up via trade or free agency. Watching Al develop into a legitimate all star caliber force in the low post has been the only good thing about being a C's fan over the last couple years. And not only is he a great player, but he seems like a genuinely likeable kid who really wanted to win a championship with the Celtics. I remember him getting irritated, almost hurt, at the suggestion that the team needed more help in the paint and that he and Paul was all they needed to win the championship. Naive, maybe, but goddamn if you don't like to hear your young budding star say something like that. But he's Minnesota's young budding star now. Furthermore, it sucks that he has to be reunited with notorious assholes Mark Blount and Ricky Davis. I hope McHale has the decency to trade them away and get rid of any barriers to the Timberwolves being Al's team. Good luck, Big Al. Tear it up!





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and that was going to be the end of this sports post. until i saw this.



now that's extreme.

The New Dicky Dirt

Oi mates! Check out the new Dicky Dirt! Not a bad look for the Franz Klammers. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you're a merchant banker and you're clearly not familiar with cockney rhyming slang. But what do I know. I'm just a septic.

In my last post on West Ham United, I said that I hoped Tevez would remain with the club, so that I didn't just consign myself to a lifetime of supporting a random team on the basis of four months of play by one player - most of which I didn't get a chance to actually see outside of youtube clips. Well, he's not going to remain with the club. I'd say there's a 95% chance that he's gone. But I'm holding out hope. And just now on the World Soccer Daily podcast, I heard a rumor of the Hammers making an effort to pick up the transcendent Juan Roman Riquelme. Villareal are officially done with Riquelme (though they still have him under contract), because of his problems with the coach and the rest of the team. He was sent on loan to my other favorite futbol team, Boca Juniors (Riquelme was on the Boca team that I saw play in Buenos Aires back in 2001), where he excelled and led them to their 6th Copa Libertadores championship yesterday, by scoring 3 of the 5 goals in the tie against Gremio. After his great performance this year, it's doubtful that Boca will be able to afford him again next year. Villareal will be entertaining much higher transfer fees from major clubs in Europe. Could West Ham afford him and would he want to go there? They could probably afford him since they've reportedly been given tons of money by ownership to spend on transfers and they struck out to the tune of 17 million pounds on Darren Bent while they were going after other players at the same time. I think if they really wanted to pay the money for a Tevez or Riquelme, they could afford one of them. Would either of them want to play for West Ham? I don't know. Probably not. Tevez has been rumored to be going to Inter, Madrid, Man U, and others. Riquelme's also been rumored to be going to Napoli or Juventus. Seems like the Argentines love the Serie A. Inter's got 4 players that play on the Argentine national team! But I've still got my fingers crossed for the Hammers. Check out this compilation of Riquelme's absolutely brilliant midfield work at Boca over the years:




You have to love youtube. 10 minutes of Boca Jr highlights right there. Bueno.

HAMMERS!

The Hammers of West Ham United have done it! With an incredible 7 wins in their last 9 games of the season (and 4 of the last 4), the Londoners have avoided relegation to England's second league and will remain to play in the Premiership another year. And who else would the gods of sports stories possibly allow to score the lone goal of the match against the hated Red Devils of Manchester United at Old Trafford, but West Ham's controversial catalyst, Carlos Tevez. What a bitter pill that must have been for Sheffield United, loser to Wigan and the last team to get relegated out of the Premiership, after weeks of complaining and threatening legal action over the Hammers' acquisition of Tevez. Hey, Sheff U, F U!! Ah, this is great. I don't really know what I'm talking about, of course, but that never stopped me before. I love it.

And this isn't me jumping on the bandwagon either. I'm not rooting for a legit powerhouse like Man U, Chelsea, Liverpool, or Arsenal out of the blue. I started rooting for West Ham earlier this year during a crushing loss to Tottenham Spurs, their 6th loss in a row, when the Spurs scored once in the 90th minute then again in the last play of extra time on a full field breakaway to steal a 4-3 decision. The Hammers were almost assured of relegation after that loss and I cancelled my plan to shell out $80 for a West Ham Tevez jersey (Ok, ok, a real fan would have bought the shirt anyways, but cut me some slack - I'm a broke artist). I started rooting for them because of the scrappy Gaucho who rose from obscurity to become my favorite player in last year's World Cup, and after 95 minutes of rooting for them in that contentious match, they were my team. Those VTK sports fans who have known me for some time know that I am loyal to a fault with my teams and once I've picked a team, they're my team for life - a practice that has been much criticized, but will remain my practice nevertheless (Christ, I ruin my NCAA brackets every goddamn year by picking Gonzaga in the Elite Eight at a minimum solely on the basis of fond memories of getting kicked out of a bar in Florida for yelling Gonzaga at people). Anyways, I continued to follow them and cheer their results despite the dim outlook. They were several points back of safety and they still had to play Arsenal, Chelsea, Everton, Bolton, and Man Utd in their final 9 matches. After a 1 - nil win - why is it that we American sports fans tend to adopt soccer language when discussing/watching soccer matches and abandon it when we return to American sports? When else would I find myself yelling "Have it!" or "Good ball!"? - after a 1 - 0 win against Arsenal, the Hammer's third straight win since the Spurs match, I began to have hope. Then a 3 - 0 loss to the aforementioned lowly and hated Sheff U, and 4 - 1 loss to the Chelsea Juggernaut, things looked bleak again. They might be able to tie on points but losing 6 on goal differential surely was not good. But then they rebounded with wins against Everton, Wigan, and Bolton, to leave their fate to be determined on the pitch today against Premiership champion Manchester United. Unfortunately, I couldn't get the match on demand on my "telly" and the toll that New Orleans took on my wallet and my intestines prevented me from going down to the pub at 10 AM for 2 pints and an Irish breakfast, so I had to settle for the unsatisfying updates on ESPN Soccernet gamecast. Unsatisfying until the word "final" flashed and the Hammers officially catapulted ahead of Sheff U, Wigan, and Team America Fulham into a respectable 15th place. Fantastic.

Questions remain as to whether the losers in this relegation match will continue to pursue legal action to try to force the Premiership to increase their penalty against West Ham from the 5.5 million pound fine to a 3 point or more points deduction that would drop them behind the loathsome Sheff U Blades. But for now, they are the champions of not getting relegated. Which is a little like congratulating someone for not getting laid off, but because of the drama in this case, I'd say it's a worthy congratulations. There is also uncertainty as to whether Carlos Tevez will remain with the Hammers next year. He doesn't speak English, would undoubtedly be more comfortable in Spain, and will get plenty of offers after his Premiership performance this year. But West Ham supposedly will be able to afford him as far as the Premiership goes next year, he claims to enjoy playing in the league, and he is a veritable cult hero in Upton Park at this point, so let's hope he returns. Otherwise, I'm stuck rooting for West Ham for the rest of my life for no good reason. I mean - Go Hammers!

Messidona

The last embed video I put up was removed by youtube, so I replaced it with another and found a couple more Messi/Maradona comparisons. For those of you who don't know, the Maradona goal from a 1986 World Cup match for Argentina against England is considered one of if not the greatest goal of all time. 21 years later, the young Argentine who many have hailed as the next Maradona somehow eerily replicates the goal in a Spanish League Semifinal Championship match.

Messi:



Maradona:



see them side by side:



and if you're really a soccer dork, see the Messi goal with the Maradona play by play call:



the video of Maradona and his shorts referenced in the comment section:

The Essien Strike

For you sports fans, here's the video of the insane goal by Essien in last week's Chelsea - Arsenal match. Pretty damn close to perfect.



Described here by longtime soccer journalist David Hirshey as a "surface to air missile". If you're not a Deadspin reader, check it out if only for the great articles on soccer by Hirshey.

OK. Last World Cup Post. Promise.

I know I have been pushing my luck with the non-sports-fan VTK readership with my month of near exclusive World Cup posts. And, as I promised, there are a few other interesting non-soccer posts in the works. But first, one last look at the Zidane Headbutt genre:

Ciao Copa

Campiones! Forza Azzuri!

First things first: Many congrats to Italia on their deserved World Cup victory. They played great all tournament (with an aberrant stretch of mediocrity against the US) and are true champs. After getting robbed on a PK that resulted from a clear dive, they bounced back, scored a nice header, and dominated the first half. Their fatigue caught up with them in the second half, which was controlled by a great French team, but they hung on for a draw, and then won on 5 perfectly executed PKs in the shootout. I hate that a PK shootout decided the World Cup, but that's the game, and Italy are the undisputed champs.



Oh Zizou...



Even Chirac gave him the European Finger Wag on this one. I'm sure those of you who give a damn about soccer (i.e. anyone reading this far), know exactly what I'm talking about and have seen it several times (it has been viewed on youtube in various clip forms approximately 2.5 million times in the last 22 hours), but here it is anyways:



God. What the fuck can you say about this? It was just absolutely shocking. Unbelievable that someone like Zinedine Zidane would do something like this at a time like this. Obviously there was some provocation, but what could possibly have been said that would have precipitated that type of attack in overtime of a World Cup Final. The Daily Mail is reporting that it was a racist slur, more specifically that Matterozzi called Zidane, the French born son of Algerian immigrants, a terrorist. The Guardian and the BBC are running variations of this story as well, but without characterizing it as racist or mentioning a "terrorist" slur. So let's assume the worst - Matterozi tweaked his nipple and then said something sexually degrading about his mother and called her a terrorist. Still, for chrissake man. It's the World Cup Final. Let it go. But none of us have been in the shoes (or "boots") of a World Cup Finalist, except for loyal VTK reader Diego Maradona, so we really can't speculate. After a long career of soccer and the cumulative effect of all the experiences at matches, after 3 World Cups, after 6 full matches (he was suspended for the Togo match due to hardly warranted yellow card accumulation) and several minutes of overtime in a month, after 110 minutes of intense competition on the biggest of stages, after getting taken down and injuring his shoulder, after having what would have been the most glorious game winning goal in the history of soccer deflected over the goal a few minutes earlier, some guy gives you a purple nurple and calls your mother a dirty terrorist whore. I would like to say that I wouldn't react but I couldn't say for sure. Should he have controlled himself? Absolutely. But he snapped. Human, all too human. It's just too bad that this is the last image that the world will have of this great player. It's really beyond comparison. David Hirshey attempts comparison in writing that "it would be like Tiger Woods, moments from donning another green jacket at the Masters, bringing his putter down on top of Vijay Singh’s skull. Or Michael Jordan stepping up to the free throw line in the final ticks of an NBA championship game and breaking Kobe Bryant’s nose with a basketball." But he correctly notes that Zidane's breakdown was worse. Because not only did he disgrace himself and possibly cost his team a World Cup (and lose me $50), but he did it on the precipice of canonization. We sports fans love our stories and this was so close to being one of the all time great ones, only to flip in a moment and become ... I want to use the word tragedy here, but that's not what this is. There is real tragedy in the world, and this is not that. But it's very sad to see humanity trip itself up like this. Beyond comparison. And yet he was awarded the Golden Ball as the World Cup's most valuable player. So, for that, Zinedine, Congratulations.




Ciao Copa
How to wrap up the last month? I am so psyched that I got the opportunity to be unemployed this summer so that I could watch the Cup nearly in it's entirety, much of it accompanied by good friends and times. The first Cup that I really followed was in 1990 (my soccer team and I watched several matches together). In 1993, I was able to follow Ireland's qualifying matches from within Ireland. In 1994, I enjoyed following Ireland and the US from within the Cup host country (the US). In 1998, I sold a couple paintings and quit my job, proclaiming myself a professional artist, but did little more than sit on my couch in Clearwater, drink 40's, and follow the World Cup for a month. In 2001, dewy24 and I watched the US qualifier against T&T at the old Foxboro Stadium. In 2002, AK and I got cable for the Cup and hosted a series of 4 AM pre-work parties, culminating in celebrating in the streets of Allston with ecstatic Brazilians. In 2004, dewy24 and I watched a US qualifier against El Salvador in the new Foxboro stadium. And in 2006, I have had the good fortune to be able to watch exactly 50 matches live (8 were simulcast so I couldn't watch them, and 6 I just missed). I watched them at the pub, I watched them at home, I watched them at my housesitting gig, I watched them at friends houses, I watched them at the pub, I watched them alone, I watched them with friends. Add in the pregame and between-game analysis and that's about 120 hours or 3 full work weeks of soccer. Add in time reading, emailing, and blogging about Copa and I'm easily into 4 full work weeks. And since the Cup is exactly 1 month long, I can quite literally say that I have been World Cupping full time for the last month. In fact, a girl I met at one of the pubs introduced me to her friend as "This is Dan. He watches the World Cup." I am going to be going through some major soccer withdrawals for a while. I may even watch a Revs game to get me through it. South Africa - 2010...

Rooney's Revenge

The Semifinals

The first all-European semifinal since 1982 did not disappoint. I've been known to bitch about Europe getting 16 of the 32 World Cup spots and I traditionally cheer for ABE (Anyone But Europe), but the obvious reality is that they deserve to have that many selections. And they've produced some likeable squads this year. The matches:



Germany vs. Italy - I went into this match thinking that I was going to root for Germany. That lasted until the opening kick, at which point I found myself rooting for Il Azzuri. Just couldn't do it, Deutschland. Italy, who have only conceded one goal so far in the Cup (and that was an own-goal), defended well again, neutralizing the potent German frontline of Klose and Podolski. When they went the first 90 without scoring, I was pretty sure we were going to PKs again and Jens "Cheat Sheet" Lehmann would put the home team into the Final. But the Italians came out like gangbusters and there were plenty of scoring chances in the OT. Still when minute 119 rolled around, PKs seemed inevitable. Then the Italians scored an otherworldly matrixesque bender goal. The Germans were forced to push recklessly forward to try to equalize and Italy got another brilliant goal on a counterattack about a minute later. 119 scoreless minutes followed by 2 goals in 2 minutes to absolutely devastate Deutschland. On a side note, why the hell is Lehmann the only keeper doing his homework on PK shooters? Is Germany the only country intelligent enough to scout the other players exhaustively? And how much would the US have to pay to get Bill Belichick to coach their next team?






France vs. Portugal - At the beginning of the Cup, a friend alerted me to the odds on each of the 32 teams winning it all. Two stuck out as good risk/reward bets: Spain at 16 to 1 and France at 10 to 1. I didn't think either would win, but the odds were high enough that they were worth throwing a fiver down on each. After the first 2 matches by each team, I was starting to get very excited about the Spain bet and not at all excited about the France bet. Then, France started to remember that they were a great team. And now, 4 wins later, they're 90 minutes away from banking me up! The aging Zidane notched the only score of this match by putting a PK past the sublimely unconscious Ricardo, who guessed correctly again, but was bested by a perfectly placed shot just out of his reach. Allez Les Bleus! And please for the love of fifty bucks, catch the damn ball, Barthez.



Updated Power Rankings:

1. Italy
2. France
3. Germany
3. Argentina
5. Brasil
6. Portugal
6. England
8. Holland
9. Spain
9. Mexico



France beat Spain, Brazil, and Portugal, back to back to back. They've earned the VTKPR 2 spot. Italy was all the way down at the 8 spot, mostly because they narrowly defeated the Socceroos and got into the Semi's easy with a win over Ukraine, but outscoring Ghana, Czech Republic, and Germany 6 to 0, and conceding only a single own-goal in 6 World Cup matches gets you the 1 spot. by a hair. The hairless Barthez will let in a goal off a rebound, giving the Azzuri their 4th and denying me my 50.

The Quarters

Clearly I was a tad intoxicated when I wrote that last post. Rooting for Germany, France, and England? What? Well, I guess I did root for England yesterday, but that was only because they were playing Portugal, who, out of respect for the Portugal fan sector of the VTK readership, I will try not to bash today (other than to say that Cristiano Ronaldo ('ian-Ron) is a detestable pratt). All in all, it was a pretty dismal weekend for the teams I was supporting. Here's some notes on the matches, followed by the updated power rankings:

Argentina vs. Germany - While the result and the post-match fracus were disappointing, the match was fantastic. Maybe the best of the Cup. It's a shame that this was a quarterfinal match instead of a semi or the Final. You had two of the best in the world battling to a draw for 120 minutes, each notching a spectacular goal along the way, and it had to be decided by a penalty kick shootout. Unfortunately for Argentina, their star keeper (who I have read described as a PK specialist) had to leave the game due to an injury, and his replacement just wasn't up to the challenge put forth by Germany's great keeper, Lehmann. What can I say. It really sucks that a team that played as well as the Argentines did got bounced in such a fashion. But that's the game.

I watched the match with scoutie, duffless, et. al. at PJ Ryan's in Teele Square, which is a great place to watch soccer (I watched all the Quarterfinal matches there, actually). I had my Argentina jersey on and there were about 5 or 6 off us rooting for the Argentines. We sat on one side of the bar, across from the sizeable German contingent that were decked out in jerseys, face paint, hats, flags, horns, etc. Both groups cheered loudly, but it was friendly and I talked to a few of them, shook hands, congratulated them, etc. They left after the match, while we stayed for the second match. A few minutes later, I notice there's a Scorpions song playing. Then another. Then 99 Luftballons. I look over at the bartender and he starts cracking up. They gave him the mixed cd as they were leaving. Damn Germans.



Italy vs. Ukraine - One of these teams is not like the other. Let's face it - the Ukraine just wasn't up to it. They got pounded by Spain, then managed to get out of their group because of the poor quality of the other teams (and they only barely beat Tunisia), and then they get past an overachieving Swiss team via PK shootout. Italy revealed them for the second tier team that they are. There wasn't a moment in this match that I thought that the Ukraine would lose by less than 2 goals.

England vs. Portugal - I think this was the first time I've ever rooted for the English national team. In '02 when the Brits came over to watch the early morning matches, I didn't actively root against them (except against Argentina and Brazil) but that's not the same as actively rooting for them (but I guess you could say that I was actively rooting against Portugal). And so, of course, they blow it as soon as I join their side. Sven insisted on using the 4-5-1 again. Lampard finally got a shot on net, but it was right at the keeper. blah blah blah, then the Rooney Incident.



This kid needs some anger management classes. That was obvious before this game. He just looks like he's going to kill someone. But I've always liked him as a player, even when he jilted Everton for Man U and became a star for England. He's passionate, tough, fast, and incredibly skilled. Leading up to the red card, he had been controlling/protecting the ball impressively against two players on his back. The battle got heated, Carvalho was holding his shirt and using his leg to block Rooney from the ball, Carvalho falls and pulls Rooney down, Rooney gets up and steps on his groin. Intentional? Tough to say. Probably. Didn't look like he "stamped" his nuts, as many are wording it, but it didn't look very accidental either. As a soccer fan I can say that this stuff happens in such a heated battle. As a man, it's absolutely inexcusable. Yellow card? maybe. Though Carvalho definitely should have gotten one for pulling him down by the shirt as well. The ref was right there and it looked like he was just calling a foul. Red card? I don't think so. Then comes The Antichrist, 'ian-Ron, to plead for a card and Rooney pushes him. Yellow card? Unfortunately, probably so. Two possible yellows in a 10 second span equals either a Yellow card or arguably a red card. I haven't heard/read anyone confirm whether he got it for stepping on Carvalho, pushing 'ian-Ron, or both. Regardless, it was an error of youth to allow yourself to be baited into losing your cool that much in a quarterfinal match. You just left your team a man down for the next 60 minutes. 'ian-Ron is trying to do damage control in the British media now, since he has to go back and play there [see comments for update on his future], but you know what kid? We saw that little wink and the snide shush gesture when you came off the field after helping to get Rooney sent off. When they get back to Old Trafford, I hope Rooney stabs 'ian-Ron's pretty boy face like he did to Ribery. Just kidding. I don't know if if was Rooney that stabbed Ribery in the face, but it sure looks like someone did. And I don't really hope that he stabs 'ian-Ron in the face. Black eye might be nice, though [update on Rooney v 'ian-Ronny in comments]. (sorry dewy/cj. I just don't like the way they play.)

France vs. Brazil - The most stunning moment of this match came in the 78th minute when Brazil subbed in Robinho for Kaka. Stunning why? Stunning because I thought Robinho wasn't playing because he was injured. Why would you not play your 2nd or 3rd best player (behind Ronaldinho and Kaka)? Am I the only person who recognized the difference in the way Brasil played with and without Robbie on the pitch. He's match-fit and available and you wait until you're a goal down with 12 minutes left in the match to bring him in. And he had an immediate impact. But there just wasn't enough time for that impact to play out. Would Brazil have won if he had played? I don't know. They definitely looked vulnerable this year, despite flashes of brilliance and wins in all 4 matches. France played great once again. Their defense is tremendous. I still think Barthez is suspect though. It seems as if he's allergic to catching a ball. But he's got decent reaction speed, parrying skills, experience, and confidence. And that might be enough for Les Bleus to Allez. I'm shaving my head ala Zidane for the France - Portugal match.



Current Power Rankings (penalty kicks may advance you in The Cup, but not in the Power Rankings):

1. Germany
1. Argentina
3. France
4. Brasil
5. Portugal
5. England
7. Holland
8. Italy
8. Spain
8. Mexico


lastly, here's a few interesting articles:

- Here is an interesting article on the representation of the power football clubs in this and future World Cups. Chelsea really was everywhere. (also, did anyone else realize that Romario is still playing? I thought he was dead)

- Essien campaigns for Adu to come to Chelsea/Ghana.

- Hope Amid Heartache For Argentina





Au revoir, Selecao.

agony

I'm not ready to comment on this fully, other than to say that both of these teams are absolutely brilliant and it's tragic to have it end like this. but, that's the game. what can ya do. Also, I've given up pretending that I'm going to post about anything but World Cup soccer until the end of the Cup (July 9). Viva Argentina, well played Deutschland. Most likeable German team ever? I don't know if I've ever been so devastated by a loss and simultaneously come away with so much respect for the other team - to the point where they may be my favorite team left in the Cup. What the fuck is happening to me? I'm rooting for Germany now that they've eliminated my beloved Albiceleste. I'm mostly rooting for Brazil but was so taken by France's play in the last match that I'm sort of a little bit rooting for them. And I'm straight up rooting for England against Portugal. If you had told me 3 weeks ago I'd be pulling for Germany, France, and England, I would have Baker Act-ed your ass.

just a heartbreaking loss. but a tremendous Cup.

Maxi Being Maxi

Mas Copa Del Mundo

Full disclosure: this post is going to be entirely about the World Cup. Sorry, but I'm obsessed right now. I will be publishing posts on some recent Supreme Court cases, my housesitting experiences with my dogg Sophie (who is a cat), and a crackpot theoretical discussion on evolution and my broken finger. But for now, it's Cup.


First things first: I would be remiss if I didn't give big ups to The Man, Ronaldo, for getting his 2 goals to tie the all-time World Cup goal scoring record of Der Bomber, Gerd Muller, at 14. Klose (9) may eventually pass him but until then congrats to the big man. I've been joking around, calling him Fatty, and a little more seriously suggesting that Robinho should be in there instead of him, but I have been a Ronaldo fan for several years so I'm glad he got his 2. And I'm glad he got them in the first round, so they can have a clear conscience when they start Robinho against France or Spain in the Quarterfinals.

I'm writing this update as I watch Germany dominate Sweden in the first match of the elimination rounds. Things just aren't going Sweden's way today (2 unwarranted yellows equaling an unwarranted red to Lucic; Larrson shanks a PK), but it's not all bad luck. Germany look very good. They've officially moved into a tie with Spain for #3 in my power rankings. If Argentina beat Mexico this afternoon, the quarterfinal match between them should be the match of the Cup so far. Hopefully it will end better for los Gauchos than the 1990 Final did.

Since my last update, there have been quite a few games but they were either match # 2 of *yawn* Group G and *yawn* Group H, or they were the third matches, which often suck because teams are either eliminated already or have advanced already and are trying to rest or protect players. So, I won't recap them all but a few are worthy of mention:

Germany vs Ecuador - how much do stamps cost in Ecuador? It can't be that much because Ecuador had no problem mailing this one in. We'll see how good they are against a tough English squad tomorrow (Owen's injury is the best thing that ever happened to England). Have we seen the last of the wrestling mask? That would be the most disappointing early death of a funny sports thing, since the "Who's Your Daddy" chant from Yankees fans to Pedro didn't make it beyond 2 months.
Portugal vs Mexico - a lovely tribute to Greg Louganis.
Argentina vs Netherlands - you know you're watching too much World Cup when every analyst agrees that a game is boring and disappointed, and you're absolutely riveted by the 90 minutes of midfield passing. I'm losing it.
USA vs Ghana - First of all, I told you so, John L. 2nd of all, that penalty kick was total bullshit. 3rd of all, it doesn't matter because the US wouldn't have advanced anyways and honestly they didn't deserve to advance. They just didn't play well in their 3 matches. There was some scrappy play against Italy and a gorgeous goal by Dempsey in this match, but the rest of their effort was crap. 4 shots on goal in 3 matches is pathetic.
Switzerland vs S. Korea - Switzerland hasn't conceded a goal yet. They should be able to beat Ukraine and they definitely have a shot at beating Italy and making it to the Semifinals. No way they beat Germany or Argentina, though.


VTK Current Power Rankings:
1. Argentina
2. Brazil
3. Spain (tie)
3. Germany (tie)
5. Holland
6. England (tie)
6. Portugal (tie)
8. Italy
9. Ecuador
10. Ivory Coast
11. France
12. Switzerland
13. Mexico (tie)
13. Ghana (tie)
15. Sweden
16. Czech Republic
17. South Korea
18. Australia
19. Ukraine
20. Angola
21. Croatia
22. USA
23. Paraguay
24. Trinidad & Tobago
25. Tunisia (tie)
25. Serbia/Montenegro (tie)
25. Poland (tie)
28. Japan
29. Iran
30. Costa Rica
31. Togo
32. Saudi Arabia


Si se puede, Gauchos!!