Friday, June 22, 2007

Cisco - Live Blogging

My roommate Sean brought me home a bottle of Cisco yesterday and I decided that it was a product and an experience worthy of live blogging. This afternoon, we maowed major ribbage at the Phantom Gourmet's ribfest at Gov't Center, along with a few beers, as documented on Sean's new blog, The Practical Slacker. That sent me into a major pork/beer coma for a couple hours but now I'm back and raring (sp? etymology?) to go, so what better way to kick off Friday night:


8:25 - I've taken the before photo and twisted off the cap - yoinks! What a smell. Strawberry. Not surprisingly, the smell reminds me of Welch's strawberry soda, a bottle of which I used to buy from the Mini Mart down the street from my house, along with a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, which was fairly new at the time. My diet consisted largely of these two items and twizzlers in 1988.

8:31 - blogging, loading picture, letting Cisco breathe - this is important. Ok, here goes...

8:32 - hmmm. interesting taste. I can't tell if it's delicious or disgusting. It's either one or the other. I'm quite sure it's nothing in between.

8:37 - loading second picture, drinking second 1/2 glass, laughing at the "THIS IS NOT A WINE COOLER" disclaimer on the bottle.

8:40 - chillin', reminiscing about high school haircut with the three stripes shaved above the ears, connecting in the back. If the mullet was "business in front, party in the back", that haircut was "business on top, party down below".

8:46 - notice how the second photo of my pouring the first drink is referencing the live blogging in the background? Now loading another deliciously clever self-referential photo. Also, Sean just took a photo of me loading that photo and is planning on live blogging my live blogging. it's getting ridiculous in here! and I'm getting a little strawberry sweet buzz!

8:53 - all this blogging is distracting me from the goal at hand - gittin' ripped on Cisco. That said, I did just feel like there was a bug on my hand and there wasn't. The 'co is cracking me out! Still debating delicious or disgusting.

8:55 - working on my 3rd glass - totally wasted.

8:59 - yeaaaaaaaah...

9:01 - I just drunk dialed my mom. I love her. I really do.

9:05 - When Cisco first hit the market in Pittsfield, I was about 15 and still a bit green around the gills when it came to fine hooch appreciation. I hadn't quite tapped the 12 year old whiskey market yet. Mostly we drank anything we could get. I once mixed some vodka and red wine - two of my father's faves - together in a tupperware container and drank it with a couple friends on top of the parking garage on North Street. but wine coolers, Southern Comfort, and MGD's were not uncommon either. So at some point, in those high school years - 89 or 90 probably - Cisco rolled into town. There were rumors. There were stories. A stomach or two may have been pumped. A car accident and a brawl may have broken out. But I hadn't run across any myself. Then one morning, my high school principal was doing the morning announcements when he broke out with something along these lines:

"Now I want to talk to you about something very serious... There is a new alcohol on the market, called 'Cisco'. It is a very sweet drink that tastes like candy, like a wine cooler, but is very very strong, like a liquor. This is not a wine cooler. This is a very strong drink that doesn't have the bad taste of most strong liquors. Therefore people are getting more drunk than they think they are. This is a dangerous drink. We don't condone any underage drinking, but I'm particularly warning you to stay away from this drink."

9:14 - Madison Avenue couldn't have dreamed up a better marketing strategy. Is that crazy or what? I can't remember if we got some at lunch or waited until after school.

9:20 - Sean has a contact buzz in the next room. He just refreshed his own blog to see if he had added anything new. For my part, I have my mouse on my knee and I just tried to move it across the screen by moving my leg. no, dan, no. doesn't work like that. Sadly, the bottle is only 375 ml and I'm reaching the end, which means the end of this live blog (unless I continue pounding beers, go to The Field, and come back and try to continue this live blog). I fucking love you guys!! Peace out!

30 comments:

The Practical Slacker said...

Yeah, we had the same viral marketing campaign in Ahhhkinsaw.

-"Man, I heard a bunch of people have died from drinking that stuff too fast."

-"Wow! Do they have it at Poinsett Package Store?"

-"My brother can pick some up when he gets off work."

Dan said...

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT WOOT!

blythe said...

wow. not gonna lie, usually not checking the blogs on a friday night, but such is life. 2 things: 1) i now get what you were referring to with cisco. 2) can you send me some? OK has crazy liquor laws.

package store!!!!

blythe said...

i forgot 3) phantom gourmet!!! NECN!

Dan said...

2 things: 1. who are you kidding about the Friday night not checking the blogs thing. 2. I'll see if the packie delivers.

P. said...

I'm going to say that "rearing (sometimes raring) to go" is an equestrian metaphor...

OK, I Googled it to me sure so now I'll submit this comment confidently.

Dan said...

next day - I do feel a bit like a horse ran over me, so that works.

Duffless said...

Great post! I do have to say, the only thing that would have made it complete for me would have been a picture of the drinking, infront of the picture in front of the picture of the blog. Mind blowing!

I've never had cisco...your experiment was necessary on so many levels, good work!

Dan said...

It may yet turn out to be my most important work. and while I never did resolve the delicious v disgusting debate, I can definitively say that the taste in one's mouth the following morning is ... disgusting. but that could be the schnapps too. I think that was the first time I've had schnapps since i drank a bottle of firewater at my graduation. *shudder*

Duffless said...

My current in progress blog revolves around which members of the MONKEES I would sleep with, then and now, if I could indeed only sleep with one member of the MONKEES.

And to think, i could be out drinking!

Dan said...

I look forward to it. there was a lot of talk about the Duffless Foundation rededicating themselves to their blog, but so far we have just seen a teaser of a top 50 song post. Bring the MONKEE sex post!

scoutie said...

as with so many of your most successful works, tying present-day cambridge to pittsfield of the past really makes this pop. and i for one am glad to see i'm not alone in the friday drinks at home. and since your dog sophie counts as people to me now (out of necessity, i'm sure you understand), i wasn't even drinking alone.

keep up the important work, von trapper keeper.

Dan said...

thanks Scoutie. and I'm glad to hear that my dog is your people now. she's hardly even a cat anymore (though I doubt she'd pass on a bowl of fish flakes).

Dearest Cupcake said...

Dudebro, I totally felt the love at the end of this post.

Dan said...

and that wasn't the Cisco talking, D-Cup!

Dewy24 said...

What a minute. Cisco? Here I am trying to get wasted on vegetable shortening that definitely doesn't taste like strawberries.

blythe said...

so, i'ts been a couple of days and still no bottle of cisco has arrived. hmm.

Dan said...

I got a cease and desist letter from Governor Henry and my lawyer has advised me to comply. sorry.

blythe said...

damn you! and governor henry! i miss deval. not really.

Dan said...

Deval's more of a MD20/20 guy anyways. Or at least he said in his campaign. You can never trust those politicians. Especially when they drink hard wine cooler type drinks.

blythe said...

oh mad dog. i might have to imbibe tonight. ha!

Dan said...

god be with you. and godspeed.

Kristin said...

They should sign an endorsement deal with Cisco the rapper (He was the weirdo blonde midget kung-fu enthusiast who used penned the "Thong, tha-thong, Thong THONG" song).

My elementary school only warned us about one thing: the made for TV movie "The Day After" which was about the aftermath of a nuclear bomb in the US. We all got notes to take home telling our parents not to let us watch it because it would warp our young minds.

Unfortunately I couldn't stay up to see it because I was too bombed on Cisco. So I'd like to send a big friggin Thank YOU VERY MUCH EB Newton Elementary in Winthrop MA! Thanks for my drinking problem. I thought it was just a wine cooler.

Dan said...

Apparently, EB Newton Elementary School wasn't known for its reading program either. How did you miss the "THIS IS NOT A WINE COOLER"? on the front label?

We got the warning about "The Day After" at Sacred Heart Elementary too, but they assured us that as long as we weren't sinners we'd got to Heaven when we died, so we were allowed to watch it with adult supervision. Ah the Catholics.

Lauren 02143! said...

What's going on with Wilco?

Dan said...

good question. I'll send out an email to interested parties.

Duffless said...

ok mr keeper, the monkee post have finally seen the light of day...drink some cisco and enjoy!zj

Dan said...

an excellent breakdown and interesting and ironic (as I have commented on the DF) choices.

Anonymous said...

ive never tried strawberry cisco.

i just had me a bottle of Blue Raspberry cisco (my favorite of the bunch, not to sweet. not to bitter)

its interesting how you noted the times and what you were doing.
cisco is a great drink, but not to be taken lightly. i've been drinking cisco since i was 18. four years later, blue raspberry is still my drink of choice (besides St. Ides).

enough drunk talk. great blog.

Dan said...

blue raspberry cisco? Now that sounds chemicalicious!

thanks for the props.