The Belle of Milton

This one might be a had-to-be-there, but here it is anyways: Nick-Lo, Kevbo and I were swilling at Charlie’s on Friday night, cooking up some ideas for the comedy shorts project, when this coked-up punk girl from Milton sitting at the table next to us hopped over to tell us that these were her picks on the juke box (Psychobillies). She was all over the place - shouting, menacing, menacing, shouting. All very cute. We weren’t quite sure if she was going to hit us with her Bud Light or what. She trashed Kevin's mother when he suggested that she was from Swansea, told us we had boring names, and repeatedly assured us that “We’re drinkin’ beeeahs, kid!” She was obnoxious. Delightfully so.

After a while, Coked-up Milton Punk Girl and Nick went out to smoke and, when he mentioned one of us, she asked, “is that the normal looking guy or the guy that looks like a professor/pedophile?” (apparently, that’s me. though, Nick had to ask). And then Nick rolled the dice. In a sketchy sociological experiment, he told her that Kevin’s mom had just died so she should probably lay off the ‘yo mama’ talk. Naturally, this destroyed the chemistry and she stayed away from us completely for fear of saying something by accident. There went our entertainment for the evening. We chastised Nick and he apologized repeatedly, but we understood. He was going for the gold and blew it all. So after another hour, we headed out to the next bar (Nick still apologizing), when who should we run into but Coked-up Milton Punk Girl. Nick asked her if she was getting another 8-ball, she said she might get a half an 8-ball, Kevin asked “wouldn’t that be a 4-ball”, and …

Yes, you know it’s coming …

“YO MAMA!” she shouted before she could catch herself. Immediately her jaw dropped and she started yelling “Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh Oh Oh! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

Hilarious. Nick (at the considerable risk of encouraging you) you’re an evil genius.