game two

First of all, the Celtics are up 2-0. Second of all, the Celtics are up 2-0. Third through tenth of all, the Celtics are up 2-0. That was a pretty shocking collapse and lack of focus in the 4th quarter, but when the other team lets you get up by 24 points in the 4th quarter, you can get away with that. Point being: that was an aberrant stretch and when they got themselves together, they got the game in hand. Fuck Phil, fuck Kobe, and fuck the LA nonchalance in explaining away these two games. Punch em in the mouths in LA, fellas. Aside from that stretch when they stopped paying attention (and they need to stop that), the Celtics dominated. They'll get a few less calls in LA, but if they play their game, they can get at least one in LA.

As far as Leon goes, the only people who are surprised by this performance are people who just started watching the Celtics in the playoffs. At the risk of repeating myself: this was a 20-10 guy in the Pac 10 (both league highs), and he's been doing it in the minutes that he's gotten in the NBA for 2 solid years. Attaboy, Leon. Attaboy, Rondo (16 assists - the most in an NBA Final game since Magic in 91). Attaboy Paul. And attaboy Ray for getting in that asshole's head.

BEAT LA!!

game one

Story of the first half: assist to turnover ratio. Celtics 8/8, Lakers 14/4.

Story of the second half: assist to turnover ratio. Celtics 12/5, Lakers 7/4.

Big win. Big 2nd half for Paul. Troubling disappearance by KG in the 4th. Good game by Ray. Doc: Rondo is your point guard. Not Sam. Sam: pass before shoot. Definitely the best D the Lakers have seen so far in the playoffs. They shot 50% in the first half, just 25% in the 4th quarter. Kobe and Odom will both play better in game 2. But game 1 is a solid win. So. I won't be an insufferable bastard this weekend.

CELTICS. LAKERS. NBA FINALS

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Oh shit! Talk about your writer's block. I'm having trouble sufficiently capturing my feelings about this year's NBA Finals. I'd like to spare you the hyperbole, but as I said in my postseason preview, Celtics v Lakers in the NBA Finals is either my ultimate basketball dream or worst basketball nightmare, depending on the outcome. You could easily extrapolate from basketball to sports there, given their history in my formative years. (The Yankees Red Sox rivalry is probably bigger, but the Celtics Lakers may carry more emotional baggage for me personally because of those formative sports years (Yankees sucked in those days)) The Celtics losing to the Lakers in the 80s was devastating to me. And beating them in 84 was sheer joy to an 11 year old VTK. That is, until Papa VTK, warmed by a handful of Sunday afternoon beers, decided that he was going to stop his series long support of the Lakers and to start rooting for the Celtics once the outcome was assured in the C's favor, robbing me of some hard earned gloating and sending my emotionally erratic 11 year old brain out to the back yards to shoot hoops in a teary rage (I remind him of that every chance I get). And when the Lakers lost to the Rockets in 86, leaving me to celebrate a Finals win over the wrong team, my joy was hedged slightly by the feeling that I'd been robbed of a Finals win over the Lakers (because we unquestionably would have beaten them in 86). Then when the two teams met in 87, I was once again denied my Celtics-over-Lakers victory by Magic's mini-skyhook and Bird's shocking miss. I've been watching replays of the best of the 80's Finals games between the two dynasties on ESPN Classic all week and I'm in a tizzy, a frenzy, a state of panic, a state of elation over tonight's tip. If you think I'm exaggerating, believe me when I tell you that I know the outcome of all these games that took place over twenty years ago and I still find myself pumping my fist when Bird hits a turnaround jumper and calling Kareem a baby every time he whines over a call. Good stuff.

So, twenty one years after that last appearance in the Finals, the Celtics finally get back to the championship series and find themselves pitted against their old rivals, the Lakers, who are playing tremendous basketball right now. The midseason heist of Gasol has given them a dangerous front court to triangulate with in-prime Kobe; some have called them the best passing team since the early 70's Knicks. After the Celtics were taken to the limit by the 37 win Hawks and the Cavs, and taken to 6 by the Pistons, almost all the experts are picking the Lakers, despite them not having home court advantage. But I'm not despairing (worried yes, despairing no). Going seven against the Cavs gave the C's plenty of experience in winning against a dominant player on par with Kobe. Yes, the Lakers have a better supporting cast, but I still think those extra games against LeBron are going to prove valuable. But more importantly, I think winning two games in Detroit is going to do wonders for their confidence, which has gone missing at times in this postseason. That road jinx stuff is totally buried, as is Ray Allen's shooting slump. They're great at home (10 of 11) and now they have confidence that they can win on the road. Plus, they beat the Lakers in both of their meetings so far this year. Granted, that was pre-Gasol, but Bynum was playing and playing well back then, so the Lakers were no slouches. If they lose the first two at home, they're in trouble, but if they lose one, they're not. They can win one at the Forum.

Time for a prediction? You'll recall that I predicted this Final and copped out on picking a winner in my playoffs preview. Considering that I went 13 for 14 in my series predictions, I'm now wishing that I had picked the Celtics. But I'm just as trepidatious now as I was then. I'm not touching it. I will say that I think it's going 6 or 7. I just don't know whether it's going to be a dream or a nightmare. Go C's!!















Win # 17 for Red, boys. Don't let that Zen Doofus tie him on our watch. BEAT LA!

OBAMA!

Finally.



Hillary for VP? I say no. Discuss.

LOST SPOILER ALERT - DISCUSSION THREAD

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If you're a Lost watcher and haven't watched the season finale, stop reading now. You can watch it on abc.com. And here's a gratuitous shot of Kate on the beach:








ok.

What did you think? The portal to the ice cave? Sun joining forces with Widmore? How did Jin survive the crash? What happened to the people left on the island ("it's not your fault" Jack)? Jack's dad and Claire are like angels now or something? Besides the Others who was left on the island: Sawyer, Doctor lady, psychic asian dude, redhead, Bernard and his wife? So the next season is going to be all about Jack trying to convince them to go back to the island with Ben's assistance? Jack and Sayid want to go, Hurley's a wild card, Kate (and Aaron) and Sun don't want to go? Or Sun will go as a spy for Widmore? What the hell is Jin doing now?

Not as mind blowing as the last couple season finales, but pretty good TV. Still not any closer to a satisfying explanation for everything. I'm starting to think there isn't going to be a satisfying conclusion. Are there two or three more seasons.

Monkey Controls Robot Arm With Its Thoughts

I don't have much time for a proper post right now because I'm holed up in the Four Seasons in Philadelphia working on an emergency commission of former UN Weapons Inspector, Scott Ritter. However, this news demands immediate mention, no matter how brief. After all, when I started this blog, there were five subjects I hoped to cover on a semi-regular basis: sports, politics, arts, humorous stories, and the ongoing quest to allow monkeys to control robot arms with their thoughts. Because, really, what's more important than developing the technology to facilitate monkeys to operate robots with their minds. Because there are millions of quadriplegic monkeys out there that we could be strapping into a stomach area cockpit of robots and sending to work. No longer will these poor limb challenged monkeys be relegated to hors d'oeuvres status (tasty monkey brains!!). Now they will be able to serve their countries proudly in the global war on terror (their = ours). Those stupid cave dwelling terrorists don't stand a chance against our super monkey-thought-controlled robot armies. The monkeys can also be used as nannies during peace time. This is going to be great.



oops, wrong video. Here's the right one.

Soccertime

The day after a tremendous Champions League Final seems like a good day to do a soccer post, reviewing the match, reviewing the State of the Hammers, and previewing the upcoming Euro 08 Championships.

The Champions League Final

It didn’t really seem like a Champions League Final at first, with two familiar English Premier League rivals facing eachother (as they have so many times over the last two years), rather than two mega-teams from two different mega-leagues. Nevertheless, there was little doubt in my mind that these were the two best teams in Europe and deserving of this one game shot at the Cup. And they didn’t disappoint. I’m no Chelsea fan by any stretch, but my well documented hatred of Manchester United and Cristiano Ronaldo (and a beer bet with my dad) set me to rooting for the Blues. The match started off as a grind-it-out English match on a wet pitch, with Man U looking the slightly stronger team over the first 25 minutes. Then they cracked it open with some nice one-two touch passing from Scholes and Wes Brown, who then crossed beautifully to the lethal Red Devil Ronaldo whose big head perfectly redirected the ball into the back of the net. The better team had taken the lead. It looked as if 1-0 would be the score going into the 2nd half, but Chelsea’s Frank Lampard poked one in just before halftime to reset the drama. Chelsea stepped up their game in the second half but both teams were stymied by the keepers and their best friends, the goalposts, which left us at 1-1 at the end of regulation time. Both teams started the first extra period explosively, but no goals bulged the old onion bag, as Tommy Smythe would say. The second period brought more exciting play and a confusing shoving match, which Didier Drogba idiotically took as an invitation to swipe a bitch slap at Vidic. A soccer finger wag and a red card for you DD. Man U was unable to capitalize on their man advantage in the last 3 minutes and the game went to penalty kicks to decide the champion. It’s cliché to say and no, I don’t have a better suggestion on how to end final matches, but it sucks to have it decided by PKs. At least that’s what I thought until the 5th PK taken, which was missed by a certain arrogant punk. Now let the record show that I am officially admitting that Ronaldo is the greatest player in the world right now, so he’s getting his due. But good god almighty do I love it when he fucks up. And once Chelsea put in their 3rd and 4th PKs, it looked as if he was going to go down in history as an epic goat, losing Man U a deserved double on his cocky little hitch move penalty kick. At that point, you could not have convinced me that ending a match in this fashion was a bad idea. But, not to be outdone, John Terry slipped and missed Chelsea’s 5th PK and they went to sudden death PKs, which Man U eventually won on a fine Van Der Saar save. So, I’m right back to thinking that it sucks. But they are the best team in the world in my estimation so it’s fair enough I guess. Plus I’m happy my boy Carlos Tevez got to hoist the Cup. Not his best game, though not for lack of effort, but you know what, Ronaldo? He made his PK.


West Ham United Football Club

As some of you might remember, it was Tevez who led me to the Hammers, only to quickly leave for the big stage that he found in yesterday’s Final, leaving me with an affection for a team from East London that I really didn’t know anything about. Fair play to everyone's favorite scalded Argentian bat, though. It was enough that he saved West Ham from relegation so that I could follow them this year in the best league in the world (giving me an organically selected favorite team, free of any bandwagon accusations). This year was definitely the closest I’ve followed the Premier League in my life, as close as one can follow it without having Fox Soccer Channel in their home anyway. Despite this handicap, I was able to watch a handful of West Ham games and follow them online. The pre-season made me very optimistic about their prospects after their acquisitions of Parker, Faubert, Bellamy, Ljungberg, and Dyer. Unfortunately all of them were injured for large stretches of the season, so the Irons never had their full first roster on the field at the same time. Still, they managed to play an impressive first 2/3 of the season, highlighted by a win over the aforementioned Red Devils, which put them in the top half of the table. Everything was coming up aces for me. I had legitimately chosen a favorite Premier League team with a cool nickname (the Hammers) and a cool secondary nickname (the Irons) to follow, just as they were beginning their rise to prominence. No bandwagon here. I wore my recently acquired WHUFC scarf, hat, and polo shirt proudly. They were even well ahead of city rivals, the hated Hotspurs of Tottenham (they're who I'm supposed to hate, right? Or was it Arsenal? Or Chelsea? Not Fulham, surely. I can't be dissing Team America). Shortly thereafter, the wheels came off the Iron Bus (or sedan, as it were). Back to back to back 4-0 losses destroyed their goal differential and put to rest any dreams of qualifying for UEFA Cup. A couple more unexpected losses to relegation candidates and all of a sudden, the Hammers were in danger of slipping back into the bottom half of the table, and being replaced by the hated Hotspurs (yes, hated). But England international striker Dean Ashton scored late in their last match to earn a draw against the Villains (very cool nickname) of Aston Villa and secure their 10th place top half of the table finish. Not too shabby. The owner has made it clear that he expects them to cut payroll, so they may lose a player or two to transfers, but if the rest of them come back healthy, this should be a formidable team next year, with youngsters Freddie Sears and James Tomkins contributing. Up the Irons!


European Championships 2008

Arguably the second best soccer tournament in the game, the Euros bring all the great play of the World Cup, without the mediocre teams like Saudi Arabia and Trinidad & Tobago. Even the crappy teams are good and have a chance (see Euro 04 when Greece pulled one of the biggest upsets in my memory by winning the whole thing over the perennial superpowers). This year should be even more enjoyable to watch as we'll be spared all the unbearably biased pro-England coverage. I don't care if they have the best league in the world right now (not always the case) and they speak the same language as us; those aren't reasons for them to be the default national team of the American sports fan. Maybe that's the Irish in me popping off, but ha-ha, England. Have a nice vacation. Right. Got that out of the way. So, the action gets underway at noon on Saturday, June 7th with co-host Switzerland taking on Czech Republic, followed by the likely more exciting match-up of Portugal vs. Turkey. (please note that I am not taking any shots at Portugal here and am going into the tournament with an open mind just like I did last World Cup.) See the full Euro 08 schedule here. And here are the groups. Take special note of the group of Death, group C. All 4 teams are ranked in the FIFA World Rankings top 12 teams. Romania, the worst team in the group, is ranked the 12th best team in the world. Wow. The Group C games are on June 9, 13, and 17 and then the runner up in that group will likely face #4 in the world (#2 in Europe) Spain in the quarterfinals on Sunday, June 22. You'd have to think that if a team can make it out of that group and then beat Spain, they'd be looking like a strong contender to win it all. My predictions are as follows:

1A - Portugal
2A - Czech Repub
1B - Germany
2B - Poland (upset. world meet Artur Boruc)
1C - France
2C - Italy
1D - Spain
2D - Sweden (upset. world meet Zlatan Ibrahimovic)

Quarters - Portugal beats Poland, Germany beats Czech Republic (Joba Chamberlain gives his OK), Italy beats Spain, France beats Sweden.

Semis - I'm not sure who's facing who, but I see Portugal and France advancing (or Portugal and Italy if Portugal faces France)

Youro Champo - I guess I gave it away. It's Portugal. Congratulations dewy24, CJ, N-Lo, Somerville, and Westport. You've finally dove it! Er, that's "done it". Sorry about that. The tournament hasn't even started and I'm taking shots already.

Can't Spell VTK Without TK

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We love you, Ted. All the best. Send best wishes here.

BCSDDB Mailbag - Actual Reader eMail

The following is an email I got last night from someone I don't know:

Hey there,

I just discovered and finished reading your graphic novel, "Business
Casual Stag Devil Death Boy." I don't know whether or not it was your
intention, but I found it to be absolutely haunting and disturbing. I
don't really know what more to say of it. There are parts of it that,
actually, I'd rather "un-read" because now there are points in my
daily life that have been somewhat infected by it. Maybe I can
eventually work through this, to go back to seeing my daily routines
exactly the way I have for many years, rather than from this new
terrifying alternate vantage point.

The story is ostensibly about office life - though it *isn't* really, is it?

I started reading the story on Saturday. I was interrupted by a phone
call from a former co-worker. We had worked together in a small
corporate cafe several years ago. We met up for the first time since
2005 in a different small corporate cafe from the one we had worked
in. I told her I liked her new hair color. She told me I made her
feel as if her life wasn't so bad, after all. After two hours of this
sort of thing, I still didn't catch what she had been doing over that
time frame. We basically exchanged thinly-veiled insults and
unrealized unspoken fantasies. We promised to do this more often. We
were both lying, though. We'll probably never reconnect with each
other again - not unless one of us gets a negative prognosis or
something else "life-changing."

Anyway, I went back to reading the story yesterday (Sunday). Life
kicked me in the teeth, though (figuratively speaking, obviously), and
I wound up consoling myself by walking through the closest mall. I
didn't buy anything. No, actually, I did buy something - a fruit
smoothie (I wanted to know what all the fuss was about regarding those
things). It wasn't very good.

This evening, I finished reading the last half of the story.
Actually, before I finished reading it, I should tell you that I fired
an email off to my boss. My supervisor, my manager, my department
head (she goes by all three interchangable titles, plus a few others
that aren't coming to me right now)... Anyway, late this afternoon, I
emailed her my desire to leave my position at the office. I was vague
in my explanation - quite frankly because I had no real explanation.
I told her I felt as if I had a "different calling," not really
knowing what that calling is precisely (but of course I didn't share
this detail with her). Clicked on the SEND button, then clocked out
for the day. I made a beeline for my vehicle and drove home. I live
ten minutes away from work by car. I've been wondering whether or not
she received that email yet. I wish I had been brave enough to tell
her to her face that I can't tolerate working there anymore. It's not
such a bad place, but after five years of such work and finding that
I'm still treading the same waters that were there when I began...

I guess it's not all that important, really. I'll continue living.
Just because I have no idea of what tomorrow will bring doesn't
preclude some vast personal deterioration, right?

And then I came home, took a nap, and then finished reading your
story. I think it had a greater impact upon me because I suddenly
have this surreal feeling surrounding me, having quit my job in so
cowardly a fashion and all. But I also think that I did what was
right for me, at least what was right for me at that specific time.

Thank you for creating such a brilliant work. I should probably go
back and reread it in a few years. I really should. Right now,
though, I don't think I will. I'm going to have enough trouble
sleeping as it is, what with having taken that nap earlier and all...

- [name redacted]

FREE BUSINESS CASUAL STAG DEVIL DEATH BOY!!

Not free as in free him from captivity, but free as in no charge, no fee, no pennies, no nickels, no dimes. Free. I'm giving the milk away for free and hoping you'll buy the cow down the road. Not literally. I don't want you to buy the cow down the road, owned by my neighbor. I want you to buy my cow, down the proverbial time road. Except I don't have a cow. And you won't be getting any milk when you click on this link. You'll be getting a free copy of Business Casual Stag Devil Death Boy in downloadable pdf format. Udderly free.

Here is the deal: BCSDDB is currently being published online for free on wowio.com. Wowio allows authors/publishers (me) to put their works online for free and allows readers (you) to download them for free. And every time the book is downloaded, the author/publisher gets paid 25 cents. How is this possible, you ask? Each book has a sponsor that puts two pages of ads at the beginning and end of the book. The sponsorship deal generates money for both wowio and the author/publishers. Not a bad deal. All you have to do is take a few minutes to register and you can download up to 3 books a day and 30 a month. Comics and graphic novels are just a small part of the pool of books available through wowio. In order to protect the content of the publishers, wowio authenticates the identity of their members, so you'll have to use a non-anonymous email (non gmail, hotmail, yahoo, etc.) to register. They don't spam or anything like that (nor do the sponsors), so you can use work or school emails. Or you can give them your credit card number (authentication only; it won't be charged).

If I haven't scared you off, and you fancy a milky treat, please enjoy a free copy of my first graphic novel:

Business Casual Stag Devil Death Boy.

And if you like it, please consider buying the cow when the print version comes to a store near you in a couple months.