Friday, January 25, 2008

It's the Ascension, Bitches!

If 33 is the Jesus year



and 34 is the Resurrection year



then 35 is the Ascension year:



Watch out, Heaven. I'm coming up. And I'm bringing the Hammers with me!

7 comments:

marshall said...

Um, theologically I think you're a little off here, Dan-o. The whole death, resurrection, ascension thing happened over three days, not three years.

There are several people, however, who departed this realm at age 35. While not Jesus-like in their stature, they are noteworthy in their own regard. To wit:

•W.A. Mozart, cocktail lounge piano player/part-time jingle composer
•Ol' Dirty Bastard, Wu Tang Clan founder
•John Henry Williams, Fenway cryopreserver
•Rusty, beloved San Francisco Zoo orangutan
•Bob Stinson, Replacements guitarist
•Luis Barragan, president of 1-800-MATTRESS
•Gao Feng, Chinese Pop Star
•Jessica Savitch, NBC news anchor
•Charlie Parker, jazz saxaphonist
•Meriwether Lewis, depressive continent crosser
•Stevie Ray Vaughn, double trouble causer
•Erik Andriesse, Dutch painter of skulls and skeletons
•Domino Harvey, lesbian bounty hunter

To clarify on that last one, Domino was a bounty hunter who preferred the company of women, not a bounty hunter who hunted women who prefer the company of women. For the full scoop, look for the 2006 biopic starring Keira Knightley.

There is no way you can make this stuff up.

akboognish said...

oh mutherfuker; it's 11:59 but this ain't getting sent until 12:00 (my time; SF time). Happy birthday. 25 ain't so bad....

Joel said...

Jesus probaly had a better jump shot than the "birdman" but had some trouble with the low post.

Michael5000 said...

Man, you stop going to church for a couple of decades, and next thing you know they've changed all the rules on you. I never know what's going on anymore.

Dan said...

Alls I know is that I ain't going out like Big Baby Jesus Dirt McGirt! And that's a fact, Jack.

Dearest Cupcake said...

Happy Birthday, VTK!

Dan said...

Thanks, DC! thirty five and still alive.