Is that the chief scribe of the venerable VTK wearing a 7 year old Mooney Suzuki shirt in the bathroom with a freshly shaved mohawk and a Narragansett in the background a scant 8 days before his 35th birthday and the absolute end to any pretense that he's not in his mid thirties? Well, um, yes, I guess. Sounds like a textbook midlife crisis, doesn't it. Not so, in this case. For the unlikely story, read on:
A high school friend and Pittsfield Generals soccer teammate of mine is getting married in a couple months and is having his bachelor party this weekend. Whiskey and strip clubs? Waking up in Vegas to your roommate banging a hooker in the bathroom? Football game and pub crawl at the alma mater? Nay. This old friend isn't into that sort of debauchery and derilection. Instead, we're headed to Camp Thunderbird outside of Charlotte, NC, for a two day competition of physical and mental endurance tests. The marquee event will be an olympic style hammer throw competition (see video below). In addition to that, there will be several other events (all of which are top secret), opening and closing ceremonies, and "bunks" for us to sleep on in cabins. Also, fyi, it's January.
So, in order to maximize my intimidation factor, I decided to take advantage of my self-employment and topped of my 220 lbs. with a mohawk. And let me tell you, VTKids, nothing says punk rock like a salt and pepper mohawk with a balding spot on the turn from the top to the back. Balding!?!? what!? Thinning, maybe. Balding, no! As for the Mooney Suzuki shirt and the 'gannsett, what can I say. It's a great shirt (tarantula with a human skull on it) and I'm broke.
But in any case, I'm feeling strong for the big weekend. I'm just hoping that the hammer throw is the last event, so that I can make it through the rest of the events before severely fucking up my shoulders: