Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Ketchup and Big Wheels

Finally. Video Evidence to back up my claim of innocence in The Ketchup Squirting Incident of this past January.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Uh, VTK, you're dressed in McDonalds' colors and are clearly squirting ketchup at the camera. How are you innocent? I'm innocent of the high crime of an unsolicited, unwelcome ketchup assault. You can clearly hear me saying "three" at the beginning of the video, as in "ready? one, two, three" *squirt*. Were this squirt unsolicited or unwelcome, the camera would not have still been pointed at the container in question at this stage in the count. And no, I did not just say "three" and squirt; that's not my style. I should also point out that none of this is debated by any of the involved parties. I'm just pleading my innocence for the official internet record.

Also, speaking of my style, they're not "McDonalds' colors"; they're the colors of my oft-sported Bel Biv Davoe look (more effective when I wear my green carharts (and my eight ball jacket (and shave three strips in the sides of my head))).

And on the other side of the Ketchup - Big Wheel Dialectic, here's a video of the 4th Heat of the Lombard St. Big Wheel Race on Easter Sunday, 2007, San Francisco (both vids are courtesy of VTK reader, AKBoognish):

This video cracks me up in an oddly staggered way. I laughed on and off in 30 second intervals. The action is pretty much the same throughout. It just seems to strike me as funny, then gets old, then gets funny again because it's still happening, then not, then yes, then not. Overall though: funny. Partially because it's Heat 4, so there are at least 4 times this many people participating.


Anonymous said...

You know, I never did question that you were perfectly justified in "the Squirt," but now that I've closely analyzed the video footage, you can clearly see the ketchup leaving the container BEFORE the word "three" was started to be uttered. I wonder if the controversy that night (which I readily admit to having no memory of) was more about the timing than anything else? If so, it was warranted: VTK clearly squirted prematurely.

marshall said...

So, watching this video prompts a couple thoughts. First, can you ever imagine this kind of thing happening in Boston? Yes, we have the bridesmaid dress canoe race on the Charles, but there is a distinctly San Francisco vibe to this race. Second, where is the video of all the kids, crying, who had their rides stolen top satisfy the selfish desires of these adult racers? Somewhere, there is a pretty sad group of kindergarteners. Sadness turns to bitterness, bitterness to anger, and anger to Harleys.

Dan said...

premature?? what? clearly it must have been stipulated that I was going to squirt on "three", as opposed to 1 - 2 - 3 - then squirt, which would be squirting on four. I think the real question was what were you thinking, what were we thinking, when we came up with this brilliant idea to film ketchup being squirted at the camera. Clearly, the goal would have been to capture the image of the ketchup squirting directly at the lens. The successful completion of this goal would have been bad news for your new camera.

I think the controversy only started when SB came in and compared it to the Salsa Incident.

I haven't spent a lot of time in SF, but I would definitely agree that the big wheel race had an SF vibe. I guess it's possible that something like this would go down in Cambridge or Somerville. I could definitely see it happening out in P-Town.

Anonymous said...

four things I like best about the big wheel race video: the nun, the green machine doing the 360, the girl losing her flip-flop and still going on (racing in flip-flops seems crazy enough), and the weird yellow-headed prisoner thing.


Dan said...

I used to have a green machine. That thing was awesome. Ah, nostalgia.

Duffless said...

Big wheel race, maybe the best thing ever.

Dan said...

Speaking of nostalgia, whatever happened to the Duffless Foundation?