Sunday, December 03, 2006
The Movie Remake Boycott / VTK Actor Curse Post
As the title would suggest, this post is about my boycott of movie remakes and the curse I'm putting on the actors who star in them. When a movie is done really well and an actor creates an iconic character, why would you possibly want to remake that movie and role? Well, obviously it's because of the money. It's certainly not because of some imitation is the highest form of compliment bullshit. The remaking of movies is a disturbing trend in Hollywood. I can somewhat understand it if the story can be told better through the use of modern special effects, but that's really the only excuse. And what's more annoying is that it's not even like the actors who are remaking these roles are unknown or struggling actors who are doing it to launch their careers. These movies and roles are being remade by actors (and directors) who are accomplished in their own right and have created iconic characters of their own. Specific examples of what I'm talking about include Steve Martin attempting to remake Peter Seller's Inspector Clouseau in the Pink Panther, Johnny Depp reprising Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and Billy Bob Thornton redoing Walter Matthau's Coach Buttermaker in Bad News Bears. Adam Sandler redoing Burt Reynold's Paul Crewe in the Longest Yard isn't in the same category, but still worthy of mention. The two most egregious offenses are clearly the Steve Martin and Johnny Depp crimes. Why the fuck would you ever even consider playing the role of Inspector Clouseau or Willy Wonka after what Sellers and Wilder did with those roles? We're talking about two titans of comedy, two geniuses who created two of the most memorable characters in the history of film.
It's so offensive that I've decided to boycott the remakes of these movies. Furthermore, I am putting a curse on the actors that they must watch inferior actors play their signature characters. May Freddie Prinze Jr redo The Jerk, may Haley Joel Osment remake Edward Scissorhands (this would double as revenge on Tim Burton), and may Ryan Phillipe play the guy in Sling Blade.