Saturday, October 29, 2005

The Bank. (a play by Dan Nolan)

[On a brisk Saturday morning, Dan stops off at the bank on his way to the coffee shop. Dan brings a deposit slip and two checks to the Teller’s window. They exchange pleasantries.]

Dan: If I could just get a balance on the account after the checks are deposited… thanks
.
[transaction ensues for maybe 3 minutes]

Teller: Ok. Here’s your receipt.

Dan: So this is the balance before the checks are deposited, right?

Teller: No, that’s not the balance with the checks. You just deposited the checks.

Dan: Right. So this balance doesn’t reflect the checks being added to it yet.

Teller: No, that’s your balance. You deposited these as checks [Teller holds up checks to show Dan], not cash. Cash would be added right in. These checks [Teller holds up checks again] are not cash yet.

Dan: That’s what I’m saying. Once they are deposited in, the balance will be bigger. This balance [Dan points to the balance] is before the checks are deposited.

Teller: If you had deposited them as cash, they would be on the balance. Do you want me to reverse the transaction and deposit them as cash?

Dan: No, I just wanted to make sure this was not the balance after the checks are deposited.

Teller: That’s right. … I’m not fussin’ with you.

Dan: Great. Thanks. Have a nice day.


fin

4 comments:

scoutie said...

you didn't by any chance go to the bank of america in davis, did you? because i've had very similar conversations with the tellers there.

going to the bank is about as much fun as plucking nosehairs.

bandit said...

yeah, but the b of a in davis decided to placate me once when i was frustrated with their wacky antics and they gave me a squishy pig!

i mean, i still hate 'em, but they gave me a pig!

clearly dan should have held out a little longer ;)

Dan said...

No, B.O.A. in Central Square. But this is not the first time I've had an issue with teller intelligence. A couple months ago, one of them gave me the wrong change and then tried to argue with me about her incorrect math, which she had done on a post-it note. Don't they have calculators or an abaci or something? Or how about high school graduates.

Dan said...

The last thing I need is another squishy pig.