The Detroit Stalker

During a recent Arcade Fire show in Austin TX, the mysterious Detroit Stalker was spotted in his trademark geriatric glasses with that inimitable glaze of sweat and rib grease coating his face, skulking behind two lovely young patrons. The Detroit Stalker's recent return to the public eye has god-fearing intelligent-design-subscribing folks worried about a return to the creepiness that ruled the day before they took the upper hand in the Culture Wars. This was the third spotting of the Motown Mug in 2005.

This is clearly him monitoring a press conference of special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald. Note the rib grease on the forehead.

Many are convinced that this is him lurking on a recent episode of the Emmy winning tv program, Lost.

I doubt we've see the last of the smirking stoic.

The Bank. (a play by Dan Nolan)

[On a brisk Saturday morning, Dan stops off at the bank on his way to the coffee shop. Dan brings a deposit slip and two checks to the Teller’s window. They exchange pleasantries.]

Dan: If I could just get a balance on the account after the checks are deposited… thanks
.
[transaction ensues for maybe 3 minutes]

Teller: Ok. Here’s your receipt.

Dan: So this is the balance before the checks are deposited, right?

Teller: No, that’s not the balance with the checks. You just deposited the checks.

Dan: Right. So this balance doesn’t reflect the checks being added to it yet.

Teller: No, that’s your balance. You deposited these as checks [Teller holds up checks to show Dan], not cash. Cash would be added right in. These checks [Teller holds up checks again] are not cash yet.

Dan: That’s what I’m saying. Once they are deposited in, the balance will be bigger. This balance [Dan points to the balance] is before the checks are deposited.

Teller: If you had deposited them as cash, they would be on the balance. Do you want me to reverse the transaction and deposit them as cash?

Dan: No, I just wanted to make sure this was not the balance after the checks are deposited.

Teller: That’s right. … I’m not fussin’ with you.

Dan: Great. Thanks. Have a nice day.

fin

Harriet Miers - Albino Alligator?

Many major news outlets are billing the Miers withdrawal as a stunning defeat for Bush, a major miscalculation contributing to his recent reeling. But Insider Mike has suggested that the Miers withdrawal was a brilliantly played distraction from the indictment story. But was the withdrawal the ploy or was the nomination itself the ploy? Was Harriet an albino alligator, pushed into the middle of the muck, unable to camouflage and protect herself, sacrificed for the benefit of the rest of the republican reptiles? Was all her floundering just a red herring? Does she in fact wear purple horseshoes and prance in fields of green clovers? About this there can be no doubt: the suffering of the Bush administration is magically delicious.

I certainly wouldn’t put anything past the Bush Cabal. I think once it became clear that she probably wouldn’t be confirmed, they (and she) decided on the withdrawal and then using the timing to their advantage was an obvious move. Fortunately, I don’t think it worked since the possible indictment of Rove and/or Scooter Boy is a bigger story – 24 hours after the Miers withdrawal, Paddy Fitz is trumping her on NYTimes.com, Boston.com, CNN, reuters, and even the Fair and Balanced boyz at FoxNews. Also I think back to back front page examples of Bush’s horrendous judgement of character will only hasten the onset of his lame duck status.

But as far as Supreme Court strategy goes, I don’t know what to think about whether Miers was an albino alligator from the beginning. Possible scheme: She gets attacked by the right for weeks. She withdraws. Bush nominates a hard core conservative to appease his base. Dems and possibly a couple moderates filibuster and block. Bush nominates another conservative, Dems don’t have the positioning to pull another filibuster, with the right threatening Nuclear Option, the Gang of 14 capitulating, and the nation sick to death of Supreme Court nominations. Said conservative gets in and swings the court to the right. It’s not a very complicated strategy if that’s what they’re doing. And Miers apparently reveres Bush so she would have been willing to take the fall. Ultimately, I don’t think it matters because Bush has a long list of qualified conservative candidates and the Dems can’t block them all. But the good news is that the longer this is drawn out, the longer O’Connor stays on the bench. This means that she may still cast critical votes on many cases on the docket, including a privatization of wetlands case, an assisted suicide, and an abortion case.

Uribe You're OK

Congratulations to the Pride of the South Side, the Chicago White Sox. I was pulling for them since Chicago is technically my hometown (1973 through 1975, anyways) and my only experience with Houston was a 12 hour traffic jam in 100 degree no AC Mad Max conditions (thanks for the ride, Brian). As I write this, I'm stopping the clock: 14 minutes between the last out and the first commercial selling White Sox World Series t-shirts. Impressive. Anyways, final thoughts:

- How about Uribe getting all Derek Jeter on the last two plays to win the World Series. Great plays.
- Ozzie Guillen just dedicated the World Series trophy to Venezuela. Chavez press release forthcoming.
- I predicted the White Sox over the Astros in 6 back in the LDS. I'll take partial credit.
- Have there ever been three worse singing performances than the National Anthems by Aaron Neville and John Secada, and the God Bless America by Lyle Lovett? Come on, Houston.
- Was there any question - at all - that Edward Olmos was going to be the Emcee of the Latino Legends ceremony? Come on, Latino Legends.
- Who's less clutch: Brad Lidge or A-Rod?

So, that about wraps it up for the baseball season. Looks like Cashman and Fat Nosed Brooklyn Joe will be back in the Bronx, so at least some of the Old Guard will still be running the show. I'm not ready to talk about A-Rod yet. Theo's rejecting the latest offer, but I'm sure he'll be back. But enough about baseball until Spring Training. Like I've always said, Boston's a great town 4 months out of the year. I've always said that.

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