Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Paul Pierce is a Big Crybaby


Paul Pierce humiliated himself, his teammates, and the city of Boston tonight by opening up the waterworks at the TD Banknorth Garden when he received his championship ring and raised the Celtics' 17th World Championship banner to the rafters. After he stopped bawling like a kindergarten bitch, he went on to further shame his family and friends by scoring a piddly 11 points in the first quarter to "set the tone" and finished with a pathetic 27 points, "leading" his team to an season-opening win. What a pussy.

And we're done with Bizarro World. I admit it: I got a little chill seeing the oft-stabbed warrior-captain (-) of the C's crying and raising the long-awaited 17th Banner to its place next to the 1986 banner. Trivmaster John and the Practical Slacker were watching the ceremony with me and they had the decency not to scrutinize my moist eyes. Perhaps they were busy concealing their own.

In the midst of a World Series freeze-frame and a month of obsessive political poll-monitoring, it's a joy to welcome the Celtics back into my life. It was nice to see the pomp and ceremony celebrating last season's title, but it was great to watch Pierce, Powe, Rondo, and the gang grind their way to a solid win against a very good Cavs team. The first half of the game was not the most impressive performance, but the sloppiness could easily be explained away as an emotional hiccup after the pre-game ceremony. Their defense locked down in the second half, limited LeBron and the Cavs to 35 points, and closed it out. Good win. I like the C's chances to make it back to the NBA Finals this year. The loss of James Posey will be felt, but I feel good about those minutes being redistributed between Powe, Tony Allen, and super-rookie Bill Walker. If Rondo, Perk, Powe, and Big Baby all continue their improvement this year, we're going to be in good shape.

In addition to the Celtics, I'm excited about the whole NBA this year. The Lakers, Hornets, and Cavs are all better, the Spurs, Mavs, and Suns are all older, and the Sixers, Jazz, Rockets, Pistons, Raptors, and Blazers are all intriguing. I was looking forward to watching the debut of the Blazer's "Glass" Greg Oden in the 2nd game of the doubleheader tonight against "Glass" Andrew Bynum and the Lakers. Oden looked like the man-child he is in the first 13 minutes, pulling down 5 boards and awkwardly missing 4 shots. Then he sprained something in the foot-ankle range of his right leg. Not the knee though. He was held out for the rest of the game and the MRI is forthcoming. I really hope he's alright because he seems like a great kid and a monster talent. I hope he's not going to end up on the long list of of NBA disappointments.

Random trivia question: who started their NBA career by getting their first points on a goaltending call and finished their career in the top 20 all-time for points and steals?


lc said...

i see what you did there, vtk. nice one and aww.
I have no idea what the answer to the trivia question is. wilt chamberlain.

Dan said...

Nope. Though those 20 million women must have been some good goaltenders, otherwise there'd be a ton of lil Wilts out there! A-OOOOOOOO!

fuge said...

top 20 in steals, which makes me think point guard. You didn't say hall of famer, although I would assume they would be...I'm going to guess Tiny Archibald, although I don't know if he had enough points to finish top 20.

Dan said...

Actually, half of the top 20 in steals are not point guards. The trivia answer may or may not be a point guard. It's not Tiny.

Although, now that I think of it, this question might be very difficult to prove. There may be more than one person that fits in this category, but I only know of one.

Kevin said...

Nice post, cry baby.

Was it Oscar Robertson

a/k/a the only guy to average a tripe-double in one season

Dan said...

I was channeling you on that first paragraph. That's a Brennesque literary device.

Big O is not the guy I'm thinking of.

fuge said...

I'll admit, I looked at the top 20 steals list...and This name struck me as someone who it could be.

Hakeem The Dream Olajuwan

Dan said...

It is not Hakeem. Nor is it Akeem. But let's just take a moment to reflect on the b-ball greatness that was Olajuwan. He was a tremendous player. Remember the time he had a quadruple double? That was doubles in 4 categories other than steals - a category in which he is # 7 all-time.

Kevin said...

Looking at the list of all-time leaders in steals, I suspect that steals might not have been recorded in Big O's day.

By the way, next time let me know when you are going to channel me. I dropped to the floor and started convulsing and drooling in the middle of a meeting at work. It was awkward.

Dan said...

You're right. I believe they started recording steals in the 73/74 season.

I will certainly let you know, but let's not blame your convulsing and drooling on the channeling. We both know you were exhibiting that type of behavior long before I started channeling you.

Dan said...

Trivia answer: Allen Iverson


fuge said...


We're Talkin' Bout Practice!

Not a Game...Not a Game!

That press conference is right up there with Mora's Playoffs, Denny Green's They are Who We Thought They Were, Herm Edwards "We Play To Win The Game", and Hal MaCrae's phone throw, in the upper pantheon of press conference greatness.

Also, it can be argued that Allen Iverson was the point guard of that team.

Beege Boopersan said...
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