Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Fuego de Ugueth

It is with the utmost gravity that I report the conviction of former Red Sox superstar and fan favorite Ugueth "Ugie" Urbina for attempted murder. The former Red Sox pitcher was sentenced to 14 years for setting five of his employees on fire. Yankees and Red Sox fans have been known to take any opportunity to take a jab at one another, but clearly it would be out of line to try to use this news in that capacity. That would be unnecessarily adding fuel to the fire.


Also, I'm not usually in the position to argue that a political party or government is soft on crime, but 14 years for 5 counts of attmepted murder? He should have gotten 7 for being on the Red Sox and 7 for being known as Ugie alone.



5 days and 45 minutes until the first pitch ...

23 days, 6 hours and 45 minutes until the first Yankees-Sox game ...

10 comments:

Dewy24 said...

Too bad he didn't attempt to set Carl Pavano on fire.

Clever with the 'fuel to the fire' comment. I'm a little surprised with the mild criticism of the Chavez government. Very anti-revolutionary of you.

Dan said...

right on cue, the dewy24 oversimplification of my views on Chavez.

Pavano will win more games than Beckett this year.

Dewy said...

I couldn't oversimplify your chavez views even if I wanted to...

and what is with calling ugeth urbina a superstar? decent middle reliever, ok. but superstar? no. he's pitched 80 of his career 697 innings as a red sox so i really don't consider him a red sox as much as a journeyman reliever who hasn't pitched in boston since 2002. don't get into a sox versus yankees felony fight because you will lose. dwight gooden alone wins the argument.

Dan said...

I forgot I was talking to the premier Venezuela scholar in all of North America. A man so clever that he fell for my baiting him with my Ugie Red Sox superstar talk.

Dewy said...

and lay off of ugie anyway. i mean you light 5 guys on fire, just once, and you're some kind of a bad guy?

Dan said...

dewy and ugie, sittin in a tree ...

Sean said...

I'm with dewy. Let he among us who hasn't tried to set his underlings on fire cast the first pitch.

Dan said...

I set my driveway on fire once. And my hand. But no underlings.

Dewy24 said...

your driveway and your hand? you are the worst pyromaniac ever.

Dan said...

hey, you can't be good at everything.

first pitch - 40 minutes...