Showing posts with label blog reality shows. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog reality shows. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Blove (round e?) - Back On Top!

I was watching a few episodes of hair-band has-been Bret Michael's reality show, Rock of Love, earlier today. Right now I'm watching an Animal Planet special on the African crocodile. Both creatures have pretty fascinating (and apparently successful) mating rituals. The crocodile impresses through its territorial dominance, its ability to take down a wildebeast, and its intense muscle tremor and jaw snapping dance in the water to attract its mates. The bret michaels impresses through his overbearing cheesiness. and shortness. Me? Well, I can photoshop myself into other people's photos until they are charmed/scared. It's no peacock's plume or lion's mane, but it's my way. And in the mysterious world of The Blog of Love it might just be paying off.

might.

(also, I think I might be the only contestant who is actually trying. yes. sad.)

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Blove - Round 6

Seems like we fast forwarded a bit on this reality blog show, doesn't it? Round 6 already? Regardless, the important point is that I'm still in the game. Here are the latest results. As you can see, I survived, but didn't garner any special mention. I may have to start coming at this thing from a different angle...




I'll come up with something. Anyways, all this blog reality stuff got me to thinking about my all-time top ten reality show list. Here goes:

10. Sorority House - straight up voyeurism on catty 21 year old hotties.
9. The Littlest Groom - politically incorrect? maybe. hilarious? definitely. Especially when they introduced the curveball of the "regular" sized chicks to try to entice the littlest groom away from the little prospective brides.
8. The Apprentice – seasons 1 and 2 - The first two seasons of this show actually knocked the mighty Survivor off its previously unassailable perch. Unabashed capitalism at its finest.
7. Joe Millionaire – season 1 only - I loved the scam on all the money grubbing harlets. Also, I saw Joe Millionaire in Boston the week after the finale aired and he looked all urban outfitter and cracked out at 8 AM on a weekday. He shot me a look like "yeah, it's me. now fuck off." What a clown.
6. Flavor of Love – both seasons - Too much great stuff to write in a couple of sentences. One of the greatest moments in reality tv came in season one, where Pumkin spit in New York's face. fantastic. One of the most confusing and shocking moments came in season two, when a contestant actually shit herself and the floor during an elimination ceremony. That's beyond reality.
5. The Real World MTV – first 4 seasons - The original. Got America hooked on televised voyeurism.
4. The Contender – season 1 only - ranked too high? Maybe. But there's something to be said for the fact that at the end of this particular reality show, two contestants beat the crap out of eachother and literally put their careers on the line (the bouts went on their professional records). That's hardcore. And if that's not hardcore enough for you, one of the boxers killed himself after losing and blowing his chance to get his family out of the hood. That would be reality right there. Also, Sly Stallone and Sugar Ray Leonard took unintentional comedy to an entirely new level. Sly wasn't in the sequels and they changed the format, which made it much less entertaining.
3. Survivor – the first 6 or 7 seasons - Survivor really launched reality tv as we know it. It was a revelation in strategic entertainment with interesting twists, locations, bathing suits and cinematography. It took a long time for this show to get old.
2. Beauty and the Geek – season 1 - Must be pretty good to trump the mighty Survivor, eh? Pretty good? check. Beauty and the Geek was non-stop parody and hilarity. On the heels of scores of dating competition shows, BatG convinced a collection of hotties that they were going to be on a show of this type and convinced a collection of socially awkward dorky guys that they would be on some other type of show. When they brought them together, it was pure magic. The girls were dumb. The guys were nerdy. Nearly every person in America could laugh at one or the other. But in the end, they all figured out, and we too figured out, that each one of us is a beauty, and a geek, and an athlete, and a basketcase, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, Ashton Kutcher.
1. Man vs Beast - as previously documented. "The giraffe does not seem to realize that it's in a race!"

postscript: Many quality shows didn't make the cut. I hear Top Chef is great, but I've never watched it, so I can't include it in my personal list. Amazing Race is also highly acclaimed, but I've always thought it was incredibly lame that Americans are frantically running around the world yelling at people in their home countries. It's like exploiting people for our own amusement or something. Big Brother and Road Rules pretty much sucked. What else is there -- Holy Shit, there have been a lot of reality tv shows. Feel free to peruse and make your own lists.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Blog of Love, round 1 - VTK takes an early lead.

The results of Round One of The Blog of Love are in, and the news is good for VTK. I placed first in the bee-spot side of the game. Now that there's a target on my back, I'm going to have to step up my game, and in my case that means I need to ratchet up the creep factor. I suppose I could stop by and watch some college football with the girls:

After all, I love them Sooners:



But I also love them Hawkeyes:



Or maybe I should just take bee-spot apple-picking again:



I was pretty good at spotting the ripe apples.

Eh. I'll figure something out.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Blog of Love, or Blove

I'm honored to have been selected as one of the contestants on the first season of Blog of Love, the exciting new reality blog phenomenon. Everyone knows how much I love the reality tv. And the blogging. So, this brilliant fusion of the two should be right in my wheelhouse. The experiment is being run by blog betties, bee-spot and dmbmeg, neither of whom I've met, but both of whom I've coveted excessively through the interwebs. I don't fully understand the rules, but see the links below for some sort of explanation of the experiment. I'm pretty sure bee-spot included me in the list because she figured I'd cry, boycott her blog, or write something snarky about her if she didn't. But I'll take it. Every reality show has a token this and a token that. It's likely that I'm the token creepy older man in this game, but again, I'll take it. I've already promised to play bee-spot like a recorder and DMBmeg like a fiddle. On second thought, that might not be creepy; that might just be sexy. But as I taught the world last weekend, "creepy is the new sexy", so the lines are going to be a little blurry. blurry and hott. Unfortunately, I'm going to be away in Northampton/Amherst for the weekend, too drunk to blog (yes. I know what I said), so I may be missing out on valuable creepy/sexy time. Hopefully the memory of how generally uncomfortable I can make people will be enough to hold me over until Sunday night. Here's a little teaser, which also happens to be 95% true: I'm wearing nothing but peanut butter and scuba flippers right now. crunchy.